All of us are healing from something. Some of us might be healing from childhood trauma, some from grief and loss, some from substance abuse, and some from codependency, and others from mental illness. Some fears are common to all the people on the healing journey that completely just throw us off the track that we are on so that we may end up destroying our chances of transformation. Today, we talk about 12 fears that people have on their recovery journey, and why they turn out to be irrational.
1. Everything will change
Yes, everything does change but that doesn’t necessarily equate to a negative possibility. If we experienced trauma, grief, loss, substance abuse, or mental illness, in our recent past don’t we want everything to change? It is scary, but the best way to heal is to lean into the change and the discomfort.
2. You are going to Fail
Why are people afraid of failing? Past experiences of failure, if they failed in a relationship, or at a job, or with their fitness routine, or with their ability to communicate with their loved ones can be taken too literally. They then take that experience bring it in the present moment, and then project it into the future. People are meant to have goals, dreams, aspirations, and hopes. We’re not meant to be cynics and realists. When we visualize and see ourselves as someone that succeeded, it becomes true with the right actions.
3. You are going to Succeed
People have a fear that if they succeed then they have to maintain it in the future. The thought of maintaining it into the future can be overwhelming and scary. They imagine that they are not worthy of it, or they feel like they don’t deserve it. So they may resort to self-sabotage and destruction. In addiction recovery, some of us are not proud of the things we have done and the lifestyle we’ve been living. But when you taste a little bit of success take time to sit in it, experience it, feel it, be grateful for it, and tell yourself, “I’m worthy of this success,” because a person who believes they deserve to succeed has a much higher probability of maintaining it.
4. You won’t know who you are anymore
Whenever we experience some type of trauma, abandonment, loss, abuse, displacement, or financial difficulties when we’re children, there is a high probability that we already got disconnected from ourselves, that we already lost connection with who and what we are. Rather than fear it, we should go on a healing journey so we can figure out who we are. We want to figure out who we are so we can be at peace with ourselves, because when you are at peace with yourself you’re at peace with the world and all of the people and places and things in it. That’s a place of empowerment and transformation.
5. You will be bored
Boredom is defined as the inability to sit with oneself. Why is it so uncomfortable to be with our thoughts, to be with ourselves? What happened at some point in our lives that we are so uncomfortable with our surroundings that we needed to distract ourselves just to not be with ourselves? For those of us who are dealing with substance abuse, the hyper levels of stimulation we need is just a coping skill to not be with ourselves. Transformation work isn’t boring, it’s just intense. In reality, going through the process frees us from the feeling of boredom.
6. You will lose your friends
Anytime we are going through a healing journey there are certain people that were a part of the old life that probably won’t be a part of your new life because we can’t have both. Sometimes we must let go of the old to embrace the new. Your new life is going to cost your old life. Are you willing to pay the price?
7. People will not like the new you
There is a very high probability that some people did not like the old you. And when you start transforming in your healing journey, there will be others who will not like the new you. And that’s okay. What is the ultimate goal of the healing journey? That we can stand in front of a mirror and say, “I like the person looking back at me.” If we don’t get to that bar we will constantly look for other people to approve us and validate us. We can’t achieve that true essence of approval until we can approve ourselves, and that is one of the byproducts of the healing journey.
8. You won’t be able to handle your emotions
Many people in the healing journey had previously engaged with negative and destructive coping skills. It could be workaholism, substance abuse, promiscuity, or eating disorders. They worry that they won’t be able to handle their emotions once they go into recovery. The reality is that you are going to learn how to handle your emotions. So it’s an irrational fear.
9. People will judge you
People are always judging us. And we are always judging people. We can choose to listen to the negative stuff or stand in our truth and authenticity, and just keep moving forward in the direction that we need to go to get to know ourselves.
10. You will never fix your mistakes
In society we love second chances, because everybody is waiting for the true version of that person to come out. In recovery, we do ‘living amends’ in an attempt to fix our earlier mistakes. We say, “if I harmed you or hurt you please forgive me.” Some of us have guilt and shame for some of the actions we have taken or not taken in the past. Don’t allow the fear that you’re never going to overcome those mistakes get in the way of your progress and your healing journey.
11. It’s too hard
Staying actively drunk, and getting money for the addiction lifestyle is really hard. Doing the healing work, looking at our past, and our wrongs, taking different actions, changing your life, and building a foundation, is also hard. They’re both hard, so you must choose which one you want to do. If you’re signing into a detox right now and it feels like you’re looking up a mountain, so is addiction. Addiction is a mountain you’re looking up to. It’s just one you’re more familiar with. It’s all hard. But choose the hard that can lead you to recovery.
12. You will have to battle the rest of your life
Replace the word ‘battle’ with ‘dance’. Sometimes, the song is mellow and you’re slow dancing and smiling and it feels good. And sometimes the music turns into some crazy psychotic techno thing, and it’s overwhelming, the strobe lights are going and you don’t know what to do or how to dance. Or you’re just overwhelmed and flooded with emotions and you just dance your way through it. This healing journey is not linear. There’s a lot of blind twists and turns but it’s not a battle every day. It is hard at the beginning but eventually it starts to just be like a dance. It’s a part of your life and eventually you get familiar with the steps and the movement and the song and the rhythm and it becomes a lot easier. It becomes a way of life.
Don’t be afraid to take the first step to recovery
Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery.
