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2 Things that are Key to my Personal Transformation

After 15 years of being sober, as someone who went through the recovery process, someone who understands the recovery process, to be able to share with you what some of those nuggets of wisdom and experience are to hopefully help you. And if you’re watching this and saying you never had a substance problem, it doesn’t matter, we are all recovering from something that takes away the pain. Some of you might be recovering from codependency, some of you might be recovering from childhood trauma, some of you might be recovering from post Covid depression, some of you might be recovering from ending an old life and starting a new one, and some of you might be recovering from drugs and alcohol like most of us on this station. But regardless I want to share these nuggets.

Belief in the Possibility of Human Transformation

The number one thing that I believe is important is the belief in the possibility of human transformation. So when people come into recovery they’re usually pretty down and out on themselves. They’re experiencing symptoms like depression, anxiety. You could be a family member – by the way too you are probably having some type of guilt or some type of shame or some type of internal dialogue with yourself or the coulda-woulda-shouldas, and is this my fault, and blah blah blah. But you have to believe that you can transform from that hopeless state of mind and body. Sometimes the individual might not have the belief themselves. They might not believe themselves that they can do it then you just got to believe that someone else believes. I did this talk this morning with our program participants and I said, “Hey man, I don’t care if you guys don’t believe you can change. You just have to believe that. I believe it because I wouldn’t be coming every Saturday morning and doing a talk with all the clients if I didn’t believe in the possibility of human transformation. And then on top of that one I want to add is, don’t ever stop dreaming. And yes, even if you’re an adult, even if you’re a parent, even if you’re a grandparent, which I know I got a few watching this. 

Don’t ever stop dreaming. Why do I say something like that is because have you noticed children when they’re growing up, they tell their parents and their teachers I want to do this when I grow up, I want to be this when I grow up, this is what I want to do with my life. And what does everybody say? You can do it, you can do it, there’s nothing is impossible in this life. But as soon as we become young adults and you tell your family members what you want to do, or who you want to be with, or where you want to go, what do they say? No no no no no no, not that, that’s a bad idea, you can’t make a living doing that, that person’s not going to be good for you. And all of a sudden they tell us to stop dreaming. Well I’m telling you this as infants in the recovery world when you’re coming new to this recovery stuff, if you have a lot of dreams, if you have a lot of goals and desires, double down on them. Dreams can come true. Just go to work at it.

Get Clear on your Why

The number two thing that I have from the 15 years of experience I’m trying to share is to really really really get clear and understand what is your why. Why are you doing this recovery thing? Why are you committing to a life that is completely different than the previous version of the life you were living? Because for a person who knows his why, the how takes care of itself. When you know why you’re doing something you’re going to figure out how to do it but if you don’t know why you’re doing it, as soon as you’re faced with adversity, challenges, struggles, obstacles, you’re gonna go change course, change gear, go to a different direction. You got to get clear with your why. Show me a person who knows their why and I’ll tell you a person that’s gonna get there. And this is the time I usually recommend a book it’s called ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ by Victor Frankl. I strongly suggest it to anybody who does not know their why, and I believe it’s a powerful tool that we can add to our recovery arsenal. I don’t know what your why is – everybody’s why is different. The why that I have, if you’re curious to know, is to do what I can to make the world a better place, that’s it. Some of you might think that’s not enough for me. That’s okay, maybe that’s not your why. My why is to do what I can to make the world a better place. How do I do that? To make every interaction I have with somebody to improve the quality of their life, to leave places better than I found them, to constantly challenge myself with making this world a better place. I don’t know what it is but whatever it is you got to make sure you know your why.

External Motivation

I said earlier in the talk you could be externally motivated. Counselor Jim got into recovery because he was faced with you either do this or you go to prison. So he was externally motivated at first to get the judge off his back, to get the court off his back, to get the probation off his back. He had different ulterior motives but here’s the thing. Once all of those things were off of his back, once the judge no longer gave him a nudge, once the probation was no longer knocking on the door, once the record was clear, he continued on and I promise you, there was something he found there that became his new why. So yes, our why can change. Like I said earlier, my why was because my mom was just crying herself to sleep every night and I didn’t want her to experience that anymore. That was my why in the beginning. That’s not the case right now. That’s not the case 7, 10, 15, 12 years ago I found a new why. So it evolves like everything else in life.

Having a Reason creates Commitment

It’s got to be a reason that’s so strong that compels us and pulls us through the challenges of life. So if the reason is very surface level the commitment is also going to be surface level. If the reason is big, I just taught you guys last week about my my dear mentor Francia Mac who passed away. He always said, “In life you got to take on something bigger than yourselves, take on something greater than yourself, because by doing so the little obstacles in life tend to go away.” If you take on world hunger, he did by running over 60 or 70 marathons. If you take on world hunger then all of a sudden, “Oh I’m feeling a little hungry today” goes away. So by doing something big you resolve the little issues in life, big time. Believe in that.

Waking up from Depression

Katalin says, “My why was because I felt I had something to create in this world and I had to wake up from my depression.” See how powerful that is? It’s such a powerful message right there Katalin, because the person’s laying in bed knowing that they got something more to give to this world than to create something in this world, but their depression is so loud that they can’t get up and do it until one day the depression was so loud and she’s like, “I’m not gonna live like this anymore. I have more to do, I have things to accomplish, I have unfinished business,” and that’s where it started.

Pain Gives Purpose

Recovery is the most selfish and selfless thing I do. Isn’t that weird? It’s selfish and selfless at the same time. And by the way, that’s okay, you got into it because of other people, you stay in it because of yourself. And that’s like I said, going from being externally to internally motivated. What I actually do is helping other people, but it came from the opposite of it – it’s starting from you going out, rather from out going in, which is pretty powerful. 

Call Buckeye Recovery Today!

Are you in recovery but not making progress? Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery and improved mental health. Our dedicated team of professionals is here to guide and support you every step of the way.

Today is going to be the best day of your life.

Kelsey Gearhart

Director of Business Development

Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.

Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.

Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.