You might have heard about the Mamba Mentality. Mamba Mentality means one’s constant quest to be one’s best version of yourself. So the constant quest to be one’s best version of yourself. Many of us come into this world and we always compare ourselves to someone else and the problem is we compare our insides to somebody else’s outsides. Somebody else has a package that seems alluring and like wow, but on the inside I feel lost, stolen, afraid, broke. How do I achieve that when we don’t know those individuals on the inside might have certain feelings? So comparison is dangerous, expectations are dangerous, so what’s the best way to do it? Just a constant quest to be one’s best version of yourself.
We talked about the Top 4 Keys for Growth in a previous post. Here we will discuss 3 key insights for getting consistent growth in the new year.
1. Growth equals Change and Change equals Growth
You will never change something in your life until you’re willing to do something for that thing every single day. You might be saying, “whoa dude that’s a little too excessive.” Well, I’ll ask you this question. What is it you want to change in your life? And you might come off with three, four, five different areas and I say, “okay, how long have you been struggling with this?” and some of you might say a couple years, some of you might say a decade, some of you might say my whole life. Well, do you as an adult, realistically think that something you’ve been struggling with for days, years, decades, can just all of a sudden change by just kind of doing a little here and doing a little there and putting a little effort here and putting a little effort there? No, you will never change anything you want to change in life unless you’re willing to do something for that every single day until it becomes the new version of who you are. Then you don’t have to try anymore, because it’s what you do and who you are and what you stand for and how you live your life.
To go from where you are to where you want to be, yes you have to do something every day for that to change. If you don’t it won’t. How do I know? Go look at your own past, go look at everybody else that’s trying to change things in life, and you’ll catch a very interesting theme – they all lack consistency – every last one of them lacks consistency. And if you’re not willing to do that right now my friends, here’s the question for you. I don’t need an answer.
If not now, when? When are you going to start to do something every day for the things in your life you want to change?
Is the answer next week, next month, next year, next decade, for some of you maybe in the next lifetime? It’s none of my business which one you choose but you must answer that question to yourself – if not now, then when?
2. Growth on the Inside Fuels Growth on the Outside
A man or a woman who is at peace with themselves is at peace with the world and all the people, places and things in it. When you are having a problem with something or someone out there, sometimes there is a problem with something or someone out there, but oftentimes there is a disconnection with self that is taking that person, place, situation and it is changing it and it is warping it and it is adapting it to something that’s eating you away. It takes up space in your head but it doesn’t pay you rent. It takes up your bandwidth and it doesn’t give you any energy. So what you want to do is always find out how you can grow on the inside emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, and the question to always ask when you’re just trying to work on yourself and improve is not “what am I getting from this,” but “what am I becoming?” Not what do I get from these talks or from these groups or from these sessions or from whatever, but what am I becoming, who am I becoming? And that person that I’m becoming, where is he or she headed to? It’s not about what we get but what we become, what we transform into.
You can’t walk 10 miles into the woods and expect to walk out in a mile.
I truly believe in that – we don’t get places overnight, nor we will get out of them overnight. Shed the ego and grow the soul. The ego is not your Amigo, and the soul grows pretty beautifully. When we give it the right nutrients and put it in the right environment and keep it around this therapeutic space and surround it with people that kind of also do the same, the soul feels something pretty cool. We feel it grow moment by moment, sometimes it’s like a warmth to it, there’s a beauty to it.
3. If What you did Yesterday still looks Big to you Today you aren't Growing
I call this the Al Bundy syndrome. Some of the younger cats might not know who and what I’m talking about but there was a show in the late 80s, early 90s called Married with Children. I was a young child, I was not allowed to watch it but I would secretly sneak and watch it all the time because it was funny. Al Bundy is the main character and he’s a shoe salesman, which I don’t know – poor guy in the show – gets such a bad rap for being a shoe salesman. It’s an honorable role – you can actually go work in a department store, make probably more than a therapist can selling shoes. But for whatever reason they made fun of him for that. So he was like a failure in life and drank beer, sat on the couch, watched TV, really wasn’t thriving, but what Al Bundy would do was back when he was 17 or 18 years old, when he was in high school he was a quarterback and he threw like four touchdowns in one game and and that’s the highlight of his life.
So my friends, if what you did yesterday still looks big to you today then that means you’re not growing. If what you did last year still seems big to you today that means you’re not growing. If what you did last decade still seems big to you today then you’re not growing. And vice versa, a year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now, wherever you are in life right now can’t look big – you have not arrived. This is not it. We do live in a moment by moment by moment interaction with life.
In life our head can be in the clouds but you have to make sure that your feet are planted firmly on the ground.
But this isn’t it. There is a version of your life that comes with improved relationships with others. There’s a version of your life that comes with an improved relationship to yourself. There’s a version of your life that you’re feeling more fulfilled because you’re doing things you’re passionate about, you’re engaged in life because there is that version that hasn’t happened yet. So don’t settle for this version – get that one. And guess what, if I’m ever lucky enough to talk to you when you’re there I’ll let you know that ain’t it. And here’s the thing, I’m not one of those people that says, when you get somewhere then you have to get somewhere else. Whenever you arrive somewhere that you worked your butt for, make sure you stand there confidently, you look at the view and look around you, and just take in the beauty.
Don’t minimize success. Don’t minimize the little victories in life.
Sometimes without those and acknowledging them we can’t build upon them to get bigger ones. So if you’re a young person in recovery right now and you’re like, “hey, I just got to my 30, 60 days, 90 days man,” celebrate that! Not with alcohol and drugs, celebrate that look at who you were 30-60-90 days ago, and the darkness and the despair you were experiencing, and look where you’re at now. But this ain’t it. When you get to a year sober, two years sober, three years sober, you’ll look back at this and be like, when you get there that ain’t it either.
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