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9 Steps for (Re)building Trust

What is up, everyone? Good Morning, or Good Afternoon, or Good Evening, depending on when and where it is that you’re watching this. My name is Parham, and welcome back to another family education and support group. This is a live stream right now so if you happen to be watching this on Saturday, August 26th at 9:15 Pacific Standard Time we are live and it is interactive. So if you’re hopping on right now feel free to use the Comment button to write any questions you have while we go through this thing and I’ll gladly answer any questions that you post or comments.


So a few things about myself and this channel. This is something we’ve been doing for over three years now and it’s weekly and it happens, let’s call it, 46 out of the 52 Saturdays of the year. And the intention of this channel and the intention of this live stream is to provide you, the audience, with some information as it relates to personal development, mental health addictions, communication, codependency, self-care. Today’s topic, which is a new one, that I’ve kind of developed has an old name but it’s new content and it’s about rebuilding trust. So some things about myself, because I am the host of this, so it’s good for you to kind of get to know me, is that I have a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy with an emphasis in Child Development. I am a licensed Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor so anything that’s in the realm of addictions and addictive processes that’s kind of where I have my expertise in. I am a high school basketball coach starting season number 15 over there in Aliso Niguel. I’m an assistant varsity basketball coach with the boys program. I am a college faculty instructor at Saddleback Community College and all that.


So we have some people saying what’s up and just to show you if you’re new how this is interactive, we, for example, can pop up your good morning messages. We can put up any type of shout out you have to the members of the community if you’re watching this from any type of a facility or something like that. If you are just saying hi, if you want to say where you’re from, like the great state of Washington or the city of Miami and the State of Florida, or if you just happen to be my mom and dad so you can tell that it’s interactive. I could do it in real time and we can go from there. 


So all that being said, today we are talking about a sensitive topic when it comes to human beings. See, we don’t have to talk about addictions, we don’t have to talk about mental illness, we don’t have to talk about anything besides the human experience to understand what it means to have trust in something or someone. And then as a series of events and life circumstances and situations at one point that trust that is the foundation of all relationships gets rocky, gets shaky, sometimes breaks, sometimes snaps, and then we’re left as human beings trying to pick up the pieces of wanting to have trust with something or someone again. But the fear, the pain, sometimes the repetitive breach of trust doesn’t allow us to fully be able to heal and experience what it’s like to rebuild and regain trust again. I know many of you watching this right now, whether you first hand have experienced addictions, or from a loved one, or you just are a human being, and you live life, that there have been times in your life that your trust has been really tested. There have been times in your life that unfortunately your trust has been violated and now you want to say you know what, I understand that trust is a necessary component of life, and I want some of it back. So however you decide to listen to this, whatever perspective you choose to take, all this will apply and if you can’t find something or someone to apply this to, guess what? You can apply it to yourself. Yes, my friends, when you look in the mirror do you trust yourself, do you trust the actions and behaviors that you’ve taken over an extended period of time, when you say I’m gonna do something do you trust the fact that you’re going to follow through with it? So there’s a lot of different angles here to look at and we’re just going to go one by one. There’s about nine of them that I’ve identified and we’re going to break down and discuss. And again, if there’s any times you want me to stop or you want to ask some questions or leave a comment or just dive a little bit deeper about one of them, feel free to. And before I get into it I want you to hear this, and this is a very important message, as it relates to trust, why trust is important. So sometimes if you are a family member like a parent, a grandparent, a spouse, a child of someone who has violated trust as a result of let’s say their addiction, I want you to know this. Sometimes when I’m listening to the individual who’s the primary identified addict for example, in this case they will point back to times and situations in their lives that they lost trust in their environment, or their family, long before their family lost trust in them. When two parents say we’re going to be there for you forever and then all of a sudden the two parents go their separate ways, which happens oftentimes, that child at the age of eight, nine, ten or eleven learned that I don’t trust what my parents say. And then later on in life when that kid violates the parents’ trust, the parents are like, oh how dare they, how dare they violate my trust? I’ve done nothing but be there for them and support them. That might be true, but you also at one point told them you guys are always going to be together and you’re not. So there’s no blame, there’s no fault, let’s just get to where we are right now and let’s get to where we need to get to, which is creating relationships that are rooted in the foundational significant factor called trust. It’s needed so let’s see how we get there.


  1. The first one that we have is when you’re trying to rebuild trust you must Acknowledge the issue. Acknowledge the fact that there is an issue because if the individual who’s done a certain action, who said a certain thing, who’s had a certain intention, if that individual doesn’t want to even acknowledge the fact that what they have done has jeopardized or impacted the ability of others to trust them, everything else ain’t going to work. So the first and most important element is to acknowledge that something has caused a problem in our trust, and why do some people not even want to acknowledge it? Well, it comes down to something really simple – pride and ego. Pride and ego. Sometimes we just don’t want to say, “hey you know what, I did this and it really had some negative consequences in your life, but you know what, I’m not going to own up to it. That’s on you. That’s your stuff. It shouldn’t have impacted you that much. It’s not a big deal.” You see, until you can acknowledge the fact that what you’ve done has made a significant impact in the lives of others, that’s had consequences, that’s impacted their money, their emotions, their sleep at night, there is no healing. So can you acknowledge that what you have done has jeopardized the ability for another human being to trust you? That’s number one. Some people can and some people can’t. Those who can have started the process of rebuilding trust. Those who cannot will continue to be in a perpetual cycle of wondering why nobody trusts them. The choice is yours, my friend.


Let’s see what Jim’s got here. Jim’s got a nice little “busted, disgusted and couldn’t be trusted,” the way most of us come into recovery. We learn, we grow up, make proper decisions and become the people we are always meant to be. Isn’t that nice? Busted, disgusted and couldn’t be trusted. I said this earlier and I want family members to hear this – sometimes you, as the family member, might have been busted, disgusted and couldn’t be trusted, right? So I don’t want this to always be the only person that has lost trust in the family system is the person using drugs and alcohol. Because life is a little deeper than that and that’s a nice comment right there, Jim.


  1. So the next one that we have here is Apologize sincerely. The first one says that you must acknowledge it and this one just says, you must apologize sincerely. Now I’m a therapist, I’m a person that’s both in recovery myself since June 13th of 2008, and I’m a person that’s been working in the field for over a decade, 12-13-15 years whatever it is. I’m a person that hears other people as an objective, non-party listener, and I know for a fact that apologies alone don’t mean anything, because how many times has somebody apologized for the same thing over and over and over again? At some point it becomes lip service. However, after you have violated someone’s trust it is very important that you offer them, you actually owe them, a sincere heartfelt apology. Does that sincere, heartfelt apology rebuild trust on its own? Absolutely not, but is it an important and crucial element in the rebuilding trust process. Yes, as long as it is sincere and heartfelt, as long as you actually mean the words you are saying, and they are not disingenuous, they are not inauthentic, and you’re not just saying them because that’s what they want to hear, you’re saying it because you feel you must say those words to demonstrate your understanding that you’ve harmed a person. We learned this in kindergarten. When you hurt somebody what do you say? I’m sorry. And you got to make sure that message is received by the other person. But please remember what I said – that those words by themselves don’t mean anything, however they’re needed. A lot of times I’ve heard people tell me, “man, I just want them to say sorry. I just want them to know that they heard me. That’s the least they could do is just say sorry.” So the tip, the key, when you’re trying to make an apology to someone after you harm them: don’t do it in the moment when all the emotions are sky high. Don’t do it when everybody’s so just mumbo-jumbo like a washing cycle of emotions. Wait for it to subside, wait for an opportunity, maybe reach out and ask them, “hey, do you have a few minutes? I need to tell you something,” and then offer your heartfelt and sincere apology. There’s no need to do it when someone doesn’t have the ability to hear it, because if someone’s really this heartbroken or angry and you apologize to them, they’re gonna probably say something back to you. So wait till it calms down a little bit. It’s a very important key when offering up an apology.


And yes, Marilyn, words without actions are meaningless, but despite the fact that they’re meaningless there is a little meaning to them, and it’s because it’s needed in the amends process that’s needed in the healing process, that’s needed in the rebuilding trust process. But by themselves are meaningless, but they’re also needed. So for those of us who have made thousands of apologies that were all just words and lip service, the next time you, if you’re truly in recovery and you’re standing in your transformation, the next time you impact somebody in a negative way don’t forget the power of a sincere apology. Sometimes people say, “thank you so much for that, thank you for saying that,” so there is some value to that.


  1. Also now the next one we got here Take full responsibility. To take full responsibility for your part there’s a wonderful saying that’s been around for a long time and it says, “taking responsibility is the highest form of human maturity.” What a wonderful saying. Taking responsibility is the highest form of human maturity. So when you’ve done something that’s jeopardized and impacted the trust someone has for you you gotta take responsibility for your part. When you just say, “I did something because I did something,” it’s different than saying “I did something because you did this, this and this.” That’s weak. Full responsibility says, “I’m only looking at my actions, what I said, what I did, how I behaved in certain acts, how I engaged in certain behaviors.” When you take full responsibility in the rebuilding trust process you don’t look at anything external. Maybe you do that on your own with your own time, with your own therapist, with your own sponsor, with your own journal and notepad. But when you’re taking responsibility, when someone else is involved, just look at your part because if you don’t what’s going to happen is that you’re going to say something, they’re going to say something back, you’re going to say something, they’re going to say something back, you just spin in circles and it’s hard to do. Because sometimes we do things because other people have done things. We react but when you’re trying to make things right, you’re not looking at your reaction. You’re looking at your response. How am I going to show up in this moment and just own up to what I’ve done, to what I’ve said, how I’ve harmed them. You’d be surprised how many people can’t take responsibility after they’ve hurt somebody. It’s a defense mechanism, yes, is it also our pride again? Yes. Is it also our ego again? Yes, but do we have to take responsibility in order to heal and rebuild trust. So whichever one it is you want to do is the one you’re going to do and if you want to rebuild trust I strongly suggest you start learning how to take full responsibility for your part – it’s the highest form of human maturity.


  1. Communicate so the next one that I have here is to communicate. So communicate with transparency. When trust has been breached and trust has been violated or broken, something that happens is now the two parties must communicate with each other, and sometimes the party that’s had their trust violated wants a lot of information, wants a lot of details, wants a lot of transparency, and the person who broke the trust says, “whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, you’re asking for too much. I don’t want to give you the details of everything I’m doing, where I’m going, this and that,” but here’s the thing. What if I told you that for the person to heal they’re going to need some transparency, they’re going to need some openness, they’re going to need some proof that your actions are matching your words, especially in the initial stages of rebuilding trust. Because if you just say, “hey I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do,” what does that really mean? It’s like, “well, I don’t want to tell them everything I’m supposed to be doing.” Well, guess what? Then the person you love, that you’re trying to rebuild trust with, is staying at home, staying up at night, wondering what the heck is my loved one doing, are they still doing the same behavior, have they actually changed? The only way to bridge that is by communicating openly and honestly. And yes, I know it feels like you’re in a power disadvantage. I know it feels like the person that’s done harm has to give more to build to get back what it is they’ve lost, but that’s just where it stands. How can you expect someone to believe everything you’re saying, without telling them exactly what it is you’re doing? And I know this can cross a fine line of unhealthy communication, or codependent communication, or unrealistic expectations of communication. And I’m not saying you got to do this forever. I’m just saying you got to do it until the trust that’s been broken has started to mend a little bit, the other person can breathe a little bit, knowing that the way you’re living your life based on the actions and the promises you’ve made are matching what it is that they’re experiencing. We kind of owe it to them. There’s nothing wrong with that. Some people just don’t want to do it, “it’s none of their business what I’m doing,” and again, what happens in that moment: ego, pride, selfishness, righteousness, all that kind of stuff pops up.


What did Jim say here? “Listen to understand, not to respond.” Listen. Most people in life, when someone is talking to them, all they’re doing is waiting for that person to finish so they can talk back, but what if when someone’s talking to you, you sit to actually listen to what it is they’re trying to say? What emotions are filled in those words and how you can actually just receive that information, and sometimes not even have to say anything back? Just say, “thank you for sharing all that with me, sounds like it’s been a lot. I appreciate you feeling safe enough to share all those thoughts and feelings with me right now.” Rather than waiting for them to finish, “how do you feel that way, why do you feel that way, well it’s not my fault you feel that way.” You see that we’d be surprised how much improvement in communication we could have if we just listen to others without the the the urge or the need to say something back right away. Beautiful things happen when we just kind of practice being a body of water that’s just calm. We want to throw rocks in it, and just see the little waves and all that kind of stuff, and calmness has a beauty to it.


  1. So the next one that I have here Consistency is key. It’s something called consistency is key, so uphold the promises you make and follow through on your commitments. That is the defining moment that the person who you are trying to rebuild trust with starts to see with tangible evidence, with undisputed results in life that you are actually following through with what you said that you will do in order to rebuild trust. And sometimes this even happens unconsciously – you’re not doing everything you’re doing, and following through with your commitments in a consistent way with the sole intention of rebuilding trust. You’re doing it because that’s what you’re doing, and as a positive consequence of that, as a byproduct of that, the other person whose trust has been violated is looking at you and saying, “Wow, they’re actually following through.” A lot of people start things in life, I don’t know why we just can’t finish what we start, and if you’re in a position that the world ain’t trusting you, and that’s the pattern you have of starting things that you don’t finish, guess what’s going to happen? The world ain’t gonna trust you. I’m sorry to say it so frankly. I know I wish they would trust you, but until you demonstrate that your word means something, that the actions you take, after you say something means something, that the consistency of those actions means something, that the follow-through of those actions until the task has been completed means something. And what does it all mean? That you are demonstrating to the world that you are a trustworthy human being, that you can be trusted and that you will follow through on your promises and your commitments. If you do this single factor right there that consistency is key, you will be able to get the trust of the world behind your back. And guess what? Most importantly when you look in the mirror you’re going to trust that reflection, you’re going to trust who you are, and what you’re all about. You’re going to trust that when you say you’re going to do something you’re going to do it irregardless of what the world thinks. And man, when you start trusting the reflection in the mirror it is very easy to gain the trust of the world, very very easy. 


  1. Patience is the X Factor. The next one we have here is patience is the X factor. Why is it the X factor? Why is it the sneaky X factor is because the world lacks patience. There’s a reason why for thousands of years humankind has been saying patience is a virtue is because it’s not too common, very rare. We always want something to happen yesterday. If someone is not trusting you we want them to regain trust yesterday, if not at least today. I don’t know about that tomorrow thing or let alone the next year thing. What do you mean, you’re not going to trust me for a year? Patience – so the formula for rebuilding trust is the following. Committed and consistent actions over time. See, we just took a while talking about consistency and actions. We did in commitment but guess what? None of it means anything if the formula is not over time. Committed and consistent actions over time and the time part is very subjective. Someone might heal and forgive in three months, someone might not heal and forgive in three years. Does that mean that I stopped taking committed and consistent actions because their timeline doesn’t match mine? You can if you want to let your pride and ego take place. If you want your pride and ego to take over, say “you know what, I took committed and consistent actions for the past year, you still don’t trust me, so you know what, I’m no longer taking those actions.” Who does that serve? It don’t serve you and trust me, it doesn’t serve that relationship. So when you understand the power of patience and understand the power that the rebuilding trust process is subjective and the time component for all parties is different then you might realize that this ain’t just about this moment, this is about the way I live my life. And something frees up. So patience, patience, patience, it is a virtue and I hope that you’re able to practice it, not just in the rebuilding trust part, but in all areas of your life. If you do, your life’s going to get significantly easier over time.


  1. Now the next one that I have here is to Show Empathy. Show empathy. So empathy is a really beautiful human characteristic and trait and pretty much it’s something that a lot of individuals that struggle with drugs and alcohol have a hard time in the early stages of their recovery, really being able to grasp and retain and here’s the reason why. Because if you suppress your emotions, if you suppress your sadness, your fear, your anger, through the use of substances, it’s very hard to tap into somebody else’s emotions of fear, sadness and anger. Because if you’re numb here, you’re going to feel numb there. So that’s why in the early stages of recovery people say they start to feel their feelings again, they start to feel what it’s like to have emotions, because they’re not numbing them, but it’s overwhelming. It’s tough but when you’re trying to rebuild trust with someone, this is a very important key, even if you don’t identify with the feelings that they have as a result of the breach of trust. It is important and vital and necessary and crucial to have empathy for that person and the emotional experience that they’re having. If they are feeling extreme sadness or extreme fear and you’re not feeling that you must be able to say, “I can accept and understand that you’re feeling really sad as a result of what I’ve done. I can accept and understand that you’re feeling terrified as a result of what I’ve done.” See, I don’t have to have that feeling myself but I must acknowledge that feeling in someone else and that’s empathy. And a lot of times you know what happens? People say, “well they’re just over exaggerating, they’re taking it, they’re just being dramatic, they’re full of drama, they’re really not that sad, or they’re not that scared.” How do you know? Just because you’re not, so what does that mean? The whole world’s gonna have the same emotions you got? Is the world a mirror of your emotions? No, every human being is entitled to their emotions. When something happens in life they are entitled to have their emotions regarding that situation, and your emotions in Arizona have to match, and when it doesn’t match you must practice empathy. If you ever minimize the feelings and emotions of another human being because you don’t have them in that moment you said “I don’t care about rebuilding trust. Get over it, figure it out, move on, it’s not that big of a deal.” Really, maybe for you it isn’t, but what if it is for them? We’re not mind readers, man. When someone tells you they’re feeling something all we can do is just say “I can accept and understand that’s what you’re feeling. I’m sorry for my part,” in a sincere and genuine and heartfelt way. And then we do everything that I’m teaching today to get the ball going on the actions.


  1. Seek Professional Help. The next one that I have here, this one I’m going to get a little bit deeper into, because it is important, and it says to seek professional help. So let’s give an example. If there’s a couple and let’s say there was some infidelity or cheating or something like that in the relationship okay, and they break up and they go their separate ways. And one day down the line, a year later, five years later, the person who was cheated on is a wonderful human being in their life that’s honest, that’s trustworthy, that’s loving, that’s loyal, everything the other person wasn’t, but all of a sudden they start to feel and think, “what if this person’s doing something behind my back? What if this person’s being shady or doing things out of character? What if I’m gonna get hurt again?” And all of a sudden it’s not about this person, it’s about our own unresolved and unhealed past experiences that we just bring into new experiences. And guess what? We project them, we create them in our mind, we distort reality, so whatever has happened in our past continues to repeat itself in our future when we haven’t done the work. So if you can understand that example now think about it this way. Let’s say you’re a mom and a dad and you got a loved one that’s struggling with addictions, and they are continuously promising something to you and they’re not following through with their promise. They’re saying they’re going to do something, they’re not following through in their actions, and after a while you just lose trust in them and you think it’s all about this. But remove your kid from the situation, go back to when you were a child, go back to when you were an adolescent, go back to when you were a young adult, long before you even had a kid. If in your world at that time there was a mom or a dad that told you something and didn’t follow through with it, there was a sibling or a significant other that told you something and did something differently and violated your trust. When you have not done the work and sought professional help and you haven’t healed that past traumas and those past experiences, what happens is when your kid violates your trust it’s not just this that’s impacting you – this is a trigger and it pushes all of those buttons in the past, and it just brings up all of your life experiences where you had your trust violated. So sometimes we think it’s just what’s happening in the present moment but when we haven’t done the work it’s our entire life history that gets present in the current relationship. And we bring our own baggage to these new relationships. So seek professional help. Seek it. There’s nothing wrong with it. A long time ago when it came down to therapy, only people that were broken, only people that were mentally ill, only people that couldn’t function, would go to therapy. That’s not the case. I work with high performers, high achievers, people that have all of the boxes in their life checked, and guess what? They come to therapy every week. You want to know why? Because human beings need it. It helps us gain perspective, it helps us clear our past baggage, it helps us get present in the present moment, and it helps us create a canvas for building whatever we want in our future. Hopefully, one of those things in your canvas is to have loving trusting relationships with the people that mean the most in your life. So if that’s what you want you can’t let your own baggage and garbage come into this. Because it’s going to keep taming it, it’s going to keep diluting it, it’s going to keep messing it up. The choice is yours. Like I always say, none of my business. 


  1. You Must Demonstrate Change. And the very last one that I have here is, you must demonstrate change. So earlier in the session there was I think it was Marilyn, yeah Marilyn who said something here, that words without action are meaningless. And now we got to our last one here which says, you must demonstrate change. So this is what she was referring to. How do we demonstrate change? When we are trying to rebuild trust, well the amends process is something that I could use to kind of teach this, but then I’m going to get out of the 12-step model. So in the 12 Steps whether you’re working a program that’s for drugs and alcohol, whether you’re working a program that’s for a loved one in your life that experiences addictions, whether you’re doing a 12-step program for your codependency, sex and love addiction, there’s various different programs. They all have the same steps. By the way, if you ever want to know is the first half of the first step that’s the only thing that’s different in all these 12-step programs, so when you get to the eighth step you make a list of all the people you’ve harmed, and sometimes people write when they get in they want to get right to the eighth step. I’m gonna make right with everybody, but the steps are made and created in order for a reason they help you develop the psychological, emotional muscles and the kind of platform to stand on before you go out and start becoming a super super person and try to make amends to everybody. But you make a list of all the people you’ve hurt, and then the ninth step says you go make amends to them when and where possible. Except when to do so would injure them or others. We don’t need to talk about that, but then you start making the amends process and when you make the amends process you own up to your side of the street, you take full responsibility for your part. That’s the whole point, and at the end of it you ask them, “what can I do to make this right?” Whatever they say is kind of the roadmap of what you got to do, but pretty much it comes down to making this thing called living amends. So demonstrating through my actions on a one-day-at-a-time basis that I’ve learned the message and I understand what it means to get right with you, what it means to get right with myself, and right with the world. And what you’re wanting me to do after I violated your trust and I’ve made amends to you, is to no longer do that to you or anyone else. So the only way I can do that is show you one day at a time, through living amends. So when we say demonstrate change living amends is a form of demonstrating that change. And what does it mean? How do we know you’re demonstrating change? Very simple – when your words, your actions, and your intentions are all congruent with each other, and in line with each other. So when you say something, you do what you say. When you have a specific intention and the words you speak match that intention, when your intention, and your words and your actions are congruent, you are demonstrating, you’re exhibiting your behavior has changed. When you do that over a course of time the world will recognize and most importantly, you’re going to recognize, and I promise you it feels so good. I think the fastest quickest way someone with low self-esteem can climb the ladder and start to feel good about themselves, and who they are, and how they live their life, and increase their self-esteem, is through demonstrating change through what I just said. When your words, your actions and your intentions are all in line, one of the most cop-out things, one of my pet peeves, is when someone does something, it’s like, “well that wasn’t my intention,” like come on bro, like okay well it wasn’t your intention, but what actually just happened? You know, intentions don’t mean anything if they’re in line. You know people with really good intentions do really bad things to people. So intentions don’t mean anything – you need all of them, like a triangle – words, intentions, actions – they all have to be congruent to demonstrate change. 


Let’s see what we got here. Change can take some time but it will come if we keep moving forward. And when Jim says it will come, you know we got this thing called the nine step promises that happen after you make your amends, or some way through the process of making your amends, and the fact that I said it will come, see he’s not saying it might come it, may come, he says it will come. And how does he know that? 20 plus years of this for himself, 15 years of mental illness, countless people Jim works with, and sees that some have more time, some have less time, it comes for everyone. And it will come. And remember, I say this every week – direction is more important than speed. Eileen: “How we view the world is revealed – is the world safe, or is the world a place that cannot be trusted? The lens sometimes needs to be deeply explored.” Profound, thank you for that comment, and I think Wayne Dyer – I’ve shared this before Eileen – I know you’ve heard this – Wayne Dyer has exactly what you wrote there in a much shorter quote, but you pretty much explain what he says. Wayne Dyer says, “loving people live in a loving world. Angry people or hateful people live in a hateful world.” It’s the same world, so the lens we view through. So if you’ve had your trust violated all the time you’re gonna view the world as it’s an unsafe place, that you can’t trust nobody. It’s the lens problem. So good stuff there. And this is all that matters to me in my 33 plus year relationship with an addict. I don’t even want to hear the apologies anymore, the words are meaningless and you know there’s some truth – that’s a very real, raw, authentic statement. Words are definitely meaningless when there’s no actions to follow suit with them. And by the way, there is something called setting boundaries that we could talk about for another five hours if you guys want, but you got to find out what those boundaries are of those words people say. If you don’t want to hear nothing you set a boundary and say, “I need specific action,” and give a specific time frame and that’s when you go to, I know a lot of parents that say, “you know what, I’m done with you, I love you, I’ll do whatever I can for you, but I’m done enabling your addiction. Until you get to let’s say a year clean, sober, recover, that kind of stuff and then we’ll talk, and then I’ll have your back.” And that might be a rough message for someone to internalize but it’s a boundary and we all have the right to set our boundaries. It is our actions that define us. Damn right.


So all that being said, I hope today’s talk was a good one. I know it hits all types of humanity, not just people in recovery. We’ll be back next week, same time, same place. If you have any topics you want just put them in the comments here. Man, I’m telling you, I’ll do them. I’ll stay up Friday night, make a little talk for you. And I look forward to this each and every single week. I love and appreciate all of you. Have a wonderful Saturday. Until next time, bye everyone!

Call Buckeye Recovery Today!

Are you in recovery but not making progress? Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery and improved mental health. Our dedicated team of professionals is here to guide and support you every step of the way.

Today is going to be the best day of your life.

Kelsey Gearhart

Director of Business Development

Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.

Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.

Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.