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Acceptance and Accountability in Recovery

When your GPS says that you are 2,000 miles away from your destination, at that point you have a choice. You either accept it and follow the step-by-step directions that will get you to your destination, or you say 2,000 miles, watch me, I’m gonna get there in 500. I’m going to get to where I want to get to in life in 500 miles. I don’t care what the GPS says. And you know what people do? They get in their car and they drive, they try to get creative, they try to get crafty, they try to get sneaky, and they go about 500 miles, and they look around and they don’t see the destination they thought they were headed to. They look around and they’re lost and in that moment do you know what people do? Every time, they get lost. We’ve seen enough movies. They stop, they make a U-turn and go right back to where they came from. And guess what? Two thousand miles away from their destination again. When honesty tells you something and you don’t accept the truth there’s no one else to blame. A powerful quote that I really like is this. The shortest distance between point A and point B is a shortcut. Nope, that was false. You want to know what the actual quote is?

The longest distance between point A and point B is a shortcut.

And I said that exactly that way for a reason because so many people think that from where they are to where they want to go, if they find a shortcut they’re going to get there quicker. And guess what they try? How many people do this with losing weight? How many people do this with specific tasks at work? How many people do this with family relationships? They’re like, hey I know I’m here. I know this is where I want to be. I don’t want to do the work to get there. I don’t want to put in the time to get there. I don’t want to go through that whole journey to get there. I’m going to be smarter than everyone else and I’m gonna find a shortcut. But guess what? The longest distance between point A and point B always has been, always is, and always will be a shortcut. There are no shortcuts to getting to your destination in life. As soon as you accept that reality the sooner and faster you’re headed towards your goals and dreams. Some people do and some people don’t.

Direction is more Important than Speed

In the past few weeks I’ve really tried to hammer down and nail down the following concept. Direction is more important than speed. When you’re 2,000 miles away from your goals and dreams it doesn’t matter how fast you go there. I mean, people try to go 30, 60, 90 days, I’m gonna get there. No you’re not. It might take you 12 to 18 months to get there but the only way you will get there is if you maintain the proper direction. The speed is irrelevant. Direction is more important than speed. The distance between denial of truth and acceptance is my ego. I think the ego is what breaks a lot of things, that’s for sure. True acceptance is the key to all my problems. That doesn’t mean I am capable of everything today but I’m willing to work towards it.

Acceptance is the Key to all my Problems Today

This is a passage that comes from 12-step programs. It’s in the book. It’s not in the main part of the book but it’s in page 417. If you ever want to go look, different editions have different pages and it’s a very nice powerful passage. And actually right now if I can pull it up I just want to read this so I’m going to read this to you from the paper. I don’t have it memorized at this moment at least but it says, acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation, some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it’s supposed to be at this moment. That last part in my opinion is the biggest part, because it doesn’t mean that when we have situations, people, places, things in our life that are just horrible for us, it doesn’t mean that we just live with that for the rest of our lives. But in order to free ourselves and to access serenity in that moment we have to accept it as exactly the way it is. And oftentimes you’ll hear me say this, and counselors like Jim and people that have been around the recovery programs, sometimes we have to accept the fact that we ain’t going to be able to change our circumstances but we can change ourselves and by doing so our circumstances will change. They will change so a good thing right there. 

Who are you Holding yourself Accountable to?

This one’s kind of difficult for people, especially if it’s someone like a family member watching this. So remember this talk is for anybody who first hand or secondhand has experienced pain as a result of addictions, mental illness, grief and loss, and trauma. Sometimes family members come in and they might actually be in an advantageous place in their own life outside of this situation with their loved one, but maybe they have been able to succeed at work, maybe they’ve been able to maintain a decent home and a family, and their finances are in check, and they’re doing well. And they get into these programs and they say, “hey, you got to go to these meetings and you need to find yourself a sponsor and you need to call that sponsor every day,” and they’re like, “whoa bro, like I said, my kid is the one or my spouse is the one or my grandkid’s the one with the problem. I gotta call someone every day?” So accountability is weird and for people in the program, when they tell them to call someone every day to stay accountable to someone, a lot of them have trust issues. They just don’t feel comfortable reaching out, so it’s like a delicate muscle that needs to be trained. But accountability, we need to reframe the way we look at this because when you’re trying to make changes in your life, I’m telling you this, it is much more difficult to do it on your own sometimes. I would even use the word impossible or improbable without accountability. The greatest athletes, and the only reason I’m using them is because we all sit and watch and marvel at their total package of how they present themselves and the things they do. I mean, the whole freaking world stops to watch things like the Olympics. Every Sunday the United States stops to watch American football. Every Champions League, the whole world stops to watch soccer and we just marvel at how fascinating these people are of other athletic abilities. All of them have people they are accountable to. They have coaches, they have strength training coaches, cardiovascular coaches, they have dietitians, nutritionists, they have medical professionals. They’re accountable to all these people at all times in order for them to be able to stay on track. 

If you’re not accountable to something or someone then that means you’re only going on your own will, in your own kind of a willpower, and your own kind of grunt. The days that life gets difficult it’s not enough. We need to be seen by others, we need to be heard by others. Other people need to know what’s going on with us or else emotions can overwhelm us and start to drown us in our situation. I’ve seen many people get suffocated by their emotions because they’re not accountable to somebody. So learn that lesson. Become accountable to someone even if it’s a paid relationship like a therapist or something. Make sure that there is a place and time that you go that you are accountable about all the areas of your life, especially when you’re trying to make changes.

Call Buckeye Recovery Today!

Are you in recovery but not making progress? Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery and improved mental health. Our dedicated team of professionals is here to guide and support you every step of the way.

Today is going to be the best day of your life.

Kelsey Gearhart

Director of Business Development

Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.

Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.

Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.