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Activating transformation and change

What is up, everyone? It is Saturday, March 2nd of 2024. We are back with another education support group that is one of my favorite things in the world to do. Sorry I missed last week – we could blame it on domestic travel in American Airlines. Shout out to American Airlines for their wonderful delays but I just am grateful to be back and I look forward to having another really productive session with you. So as we wait for our audience to trickle in slowly but surely I will go ahead and kind of give a little introduction of myself, this group, what you can expect, and hopefully this next 45 minutes is a time well spent that you can take away something with you that you didn’t have. My primary goal for today is that you take with you some increased motivation, possibly some inspiration, to do the things in your life, and in your recovery, and in your healing journey, and in your transformation journey, that you know you need to do but just haven’t come around to getting them done yet. Sometimes we all need that. So Good Morning in advance to everyone saying what’s up! 

My name is Parham. I am your weekly host of this show and this is pretty much a live stream that’s dedicated to anybody who firsthand or secondhand has experienced any type of pain as a result of addictions, mental illness, trauma, grief and loss. If you’re here to find out how you can help somebody else while at the same time helping yourself you’re in the right place. We cover various topics such as personal development, understanding recovery, understanding addictions, communications, boundaries, self-care, and a little bit of everything in between. I would say it is interactive so as group participants come in, and for example, Bita saying “what’s up,” and Katalin saying “what’s up,” and Jim saying “what’s up,” and Mom and Dad are saying “what’s up.” I can put up your comments on the screen and you can ask questions and we can have a discussion about it. I do a pretty good job to pay attention and focus over there.

Some more background information about myself – so I do have a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. I am licensed as an Addictions and Drug Clinician, so really with addiction and addictive processes. I am about to teach my first community college class at Saddleback Community College. It starts March 28th – it’s eight weeks long and the topic is Family Dynamics in Addicted Families. I do coach high school basketball and I’ve been doing that for 15 years and I am in recovery myself, so June 13th of 2008 is the day that I pivoted from living one way of life to living another way of life. And that’s my goal, to be able to inspire you to do so. And yeah, Good Morning Hossein Jan. Whoever else pops up, Good Morning! And we’ll go into it.

So what I did for today was, it’s a new talk – I’ve never done this one before and what I wanted to do was, a lot of people come to places like this channel to figure out how they can change something in their life. Now oftentimes, the first thing that they’re trying to change is the addiction or the mental illness or the challenges that someone that they dearly love in their life. And they quickly come to realize that despite having the delusion or Illusion and delusion of control that they actually have zero influence on what that person does or doesn’t do. Now there are ways to increase motivation by setting specific types of boundaries that we talk about and doing all that kind of stuff, but at the end of the day people do what they want to do. And all we can do is just sit back and understand that we can love human beings and I hope you always love human beings. But I hope one day you learn how to detach yourself from the consequences of their actions. You know, it’s a little bit harder when the person’s young but when the person’s older and you are still tied to the consequences of their actions, I’m telling you this – every single time you go in and save the day you have crippled them from doing so themselves. And if you’ve been doing that for 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, you’re pretty much enabling a specific type of mindset that will no longer grow until the day you realize that there’s something you got to do. So hopefully what happens is in that process of coming here and watching these videos and trying to change someone else’s life you realize that, “hey man, I might as well just do it for myself. I might as well start looking at all of the things I need to do in my world and in my life.” 

Miss Jessica, what’s up? So yeah, you guys feel free to comment, say whatever you guys want. Here’s what we’re doing today. I went on the internet and I kind of started to do a little dive into quotes or words that inspire, transform, and I curated 10 of them and that’s what we’re going to do today. So we’ll just start the show right now. Whoever comes in later see you soon!


1. “At any given moment you have the power to say this is not how the story is going to end.”
God I love that one so much and you know what I really love about that the most? It’s like a personal exercise that you in any time, any fashion, any way you want, any place you want, can come to that conclusion. You don’t need me for this one. So the first one that we’re talking about today is that at any given moment in your life you have the ability to say this is not how the story ends, period. And you want to know why I love that so much? It’s because it leaves it open-ended. Then how do you want the story to end? What do you want the story to look like? How do you want to feel in that story? When you get crystal clear with that version of life then you get to do the work to make it become a reality. You see, we’re not just tied to these versions of life that we’re currently experiencing. What you’re experiencing right now is not who you are. It’s a result of who you’ve been and what you’ve done or haven’t done until this moment. If you look around this moment and say this ain’t it, this is not the way the story ends, well then guess what? By changing the things that you do today, moving forward, by engaging in life in a different way today, moving forward, by having clear crystallized goals of your future, the story will end. I can’t tell you how many people struggle and over-identify with the story of their life in the present moment. They believe that what they have and what they’re experiencing in life is all there will ever be, but I mean I’ll give you a little example. If I go back 15 1/2 years ago to a 25-year-old man that didn’t have a college degree, that didn’t have any professional training, that didn’t have his own self-respect, that didn’t have the trust of the people that were around him, that didn’t have any type of vision in life, any goals in life, any dreams in life, any aspirations in life, if I would have believed that that version of myself was the only story that I would have ever experienced, what a tragedy that would have been. But one day I said this ain’t the way the story ends, man, and I wanted to go be someone else, do something else, create something else, and that’s where we are today. I will tell you this – in this moment that I’m talking to you right now, this ain’t the way the story ends. There are so many things in my life and in my future that have yet to be accomplished and when it’s all said and done hopefully the story unfolds in a way that is something that I could be proud of, that I know I worked my butt off to create. But I’ll never give into what the mind says. So the takeaway from that first quote is, you are not your story. You are not your past. Your current life circumstance and situation is a byproduct of the things you’ve done in the past, the way you’ve thought in the past, the things you didn’t do in the past. And it’s gotten you to this moment right here. The choice is yours. Continue on the same path, keep living the same story. Or say this ain’t the way it ends. And that’s up to you. I can’t make that decision for you even though I wish I could. Because man, do I wish more people could experience what life like that would be like.

Let’s see what we got here. We got Taylor saying Good Morning, Tony back there, Tony’s back in action. “My story isn’t over yet either.” No sir, it’s not. James Shand, the sky is the limit at any time, you know it really is and we are our own authors.



2. So the next one that we have here is, “Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.” You know, a lot of people think that in order to change their lives they need to be somewhere else, they need to have something more, they need to be able to do a lot more than they’re currently doing. No you don’t. You know how most human beings are pretty much capable of walking, right? The general population, most people, are capable of walking yet at some point in our lives we couldn’t hold our neck up, we couldn’t sit, we couldn’t crawl, we had to go through certain stages in order to be able to eventually walk. Do what you can with what you got and that’s the best you could do. Life changes, transformations, all the same way. Some people just want to become a different version of themselves not knowing that in order to go from where you are to where you want to be you must learn how to sit, you must learn how to crawl, you must learn how to walk, and trust me you must learn how to fall. Some people do it, some people don’t. A lot of people wait for the circumstances to be just right to be perfect before they start taking steps and actions towards their desired goals, their hopes, their dreams, their ambitions. And guess what, that day never ever comes. Because things will never be perfect for you to start. What if I told you right now, in this moment, that I’m talking to you is the perfect moment for you to begin where you are, use what you have, use what you got, and start making changes and steps towards that direction? There is no better time than now. If your mind is telling you that Monday is better than today it’s a lie that you choose to believe. Because how many times do Mondays have to come and go without any type of change for you to realize that it doesn’t exist on that day? It exists in this moment. How many more times do we have to say it feels like Groundhogs Day? Oh it’s Monday again. I got to go back to work. Oh thank God, it’s Friday. How many times do you have to watch the same story before you realize that in order to break that story and create a new story that you need a different approach? Start with what you have right now. If you want to go do big things in life it starts with the first step. What do they say? “A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.” Not the 700th step. Yet people want to be at the end of the process without knowing that they got to start somewhere. You got to start somewhere, my friends.


So let’s see what we got here. Some of these I’ll talk a little bit more about, some of them a little bit less. Oh this one’s good. 



3. “A year from now you will wish you had started today.” A year from now you will wish that you had started today. So when March 2nd 2025 comes around there are certain things in your life that right now in this moment you want to have accomplished if you start today with what you got and where you’re at and believe that this is not the way the story ends. There is a very high possibility and probability that next year you will have accomplished some of these. Yet, if you keep waiting for the right moment and the circumstance, if you keep waiting for the miracle of inspiration to just turn on inside you and the motivation to do the things you’re currently not doing to just turn on when next year comes around, I promise you that it will not be different than this moment. Being a clinician and working with people over a decade I’ve had some people come through a few times some of them are exactly where they were, some of them are even worse than where they were, and they’re still waiting for the day to start. Isn’t that odd? And then they even say like, “man, I wish I would have started back then.” Well, check this out – if you are in the same boat of those individuals who say I wish I would have started back then a year from now, 5 years from now, today, this moment is back then this current moment that I’m talking to you right now in the future will be back then. So if you currently have regrets of the things you didn’t do then and there yesterday, yesteryear, back then, if you don’t change nothing about your life, when the future comes you will still have regrets about this moment. And if you didn’t understand what I said please to God, rewind it and listen again. Because that’s the key to change. When you realize the future changes when you change the present moment. If you don’t it won’t. And I can’t make that decision for you, my friends. I wish I could but I’ve learned the limitations of human power. Man, I could sit here and just do my best to inspire a human being to go make some changes and guess what, if there’s a hundred people listening, 5 of them will, 80 of them will try, 50 of them won’t even try. And out of the 80 that try only the ones that understand what it truly means to be consistent and committed and obsessed with accomplishing those goals and dreams are the ones that are actually going to do it. So despite those low statistics and odds I don’t take it personal because I know human beings are the most stubborn things in the planet Earth, and they all want something they don’t have, but they’re not willing to do the work to get there. And they get bitter and resentful, wondering why life isn’t working out for them. Very peculiar species we are, this human species.



4. And the next one we have here: “If you’re serious about changing your life you will find a way. If you’re not you will find an excuse.” So my friends, if you are serious about changing your life, about transforming your circumstances, and experiencing a different way of this thing called life you’ll find a way to change. And if you’re not, man, are you gonna find some good excuses. Human beings come up with the best excuses of all time for reasons why they don’t do the things they do. Number one usually is, they don’t have the time. That’s if we’re playing Family Feud and they ask what is the most common excuse human beings have for not being able to follow and pursue their goals and dreams and hopes and things they want to accomplish in life, number one is “oh I don’t got the time.” When somebody says that to me I kind of like chuckle inside because all they’re telling me is, “I don’t know how to prioritize my time. I don’t know how to manage my time. I don’t know the value of time.” That’s all they’re telling me. “I don’t believe that time is important.” So people love to find excuses and you know as a clinician I’ll tell you this – I understand the significant impact that dysfunctional families growing up can have on the development of a human being. I understand the significant impact that things like trauma and abuse can have on the mind, body, spirit, the development of this thing called the human being. I understand that things like mental illness and addictions can really derail us from our path. However if you really want to transform and change you will find a way to work through all that, to heal from all that, because remember, if you don’t heal from your wounds you will bleed all over people who did not cut you, including yourself. So I don’t really know what you want to do with your life but I do know this. That if and when the day comes that you choose to transform and change your story there is no such thing as an excuse to prevent you from doing it. Most people that try to change, the reason why they fail is because they focus on and breathe life into their excuses by minimizing tragically their potential power to change. It’s so sad when it happens. And what are some excuses? “It’s too hard. I don’t have time. It’s too expensive. It’s going to take too long. I’m afraid nobody understands, nobody gets it. If you only experienced what I experienced you wouldn’t be talking down to me like this. You have no sensitivity. You have no compassion. You have no empathy.” Alright, and now what? You’re still stuck in the same situation being prisoner to your past circumstances and living through the lens of the excuses of why you can’t accomplish your dreams. At some point we’re either committed to change or committed to the excuses for reasons why we can’t change. You’re either committed to transforming your life or you’re committed to the reasons why you can’t transform. It’s a commitment thing. So which world are you going to be committed to? I’m committed to the world of transformation. I live beyond my excuses. I don’t allow my excuses to penetrate my mind, even though sometimes I can have some. I don’t breathe air or life into these things called excuses. I find ways to overcome them. I find ways to silence them. I find ways to minimize them with massive action. Maybe it’s because I have a really clear vision of what I’m trying to accomplish in life. Maybe it’s because I just don’t want my story to end a certain way. Maybe because I’m hungry for change. Maybe because I’ve experienced it I know the feeling that it has and how powerful it is, and how meaningful it is, and how impactful it is, how it can help other people. And if you haven’t experienced those things yet I sincerely, politely invite you to live beyond your excuses. I mean, how many more excuses? Like it’s too cold outside, it’s too hot outside, what the heck man? It’s too far, it’s too close. I don’t know if you came to the channel to to hear things about how everything you’re doing right now is okay and just keep trying your best. I’m not it, I’m just not it. I can’t. I’m not going to dedicate a significant chunk of every Saturday and just sit here and just tell people things that are kind of mild and mellow and easy to hear. If you’re not here to get a little uncomfortable with how you’re living your life or a little inspired to do a little bit better, even if you’re doing well. Let’s just say you’re doing extraordinarily well in all areas. There’s another level and once you get to that level there’s another level and that level has another level and you might be thinking, “Well, this guy’s out of his mind.” It’s like I’m content if you’re content with what you have. You’ll be content again with what you’re going to get. It’s a beautiful way to live.



5. So the next one we got here, oh this is good. It says, “A ship at harbor is safe but that’s not what ships are built for.” So when you look at a ship hanging out in the harbor, yeah it’s safe over there, but that’s not really what it’s built for, is it? What’s that ship made for? It’s built to go adventure, it’s built to go explore, it’s built to go travel, it’s built to go from one destination to another destination. It’s built for this thing called exploration and experience. Ain’t that the truth? Isn’t that what the freaking ship is built for? And human beings, you might be safe chilling, hanging out on your couch, you might be safe at your little nine-to-five job, you might be safe at your small routine that you’ve created for yourself, but I’m telling you this – just like the ship is safe in the harbor but it’s not what it’s built for you are not built to just live a small life that’s completely free of challenge, completely free of taking risks, completely free of putting yourself in situations which seem overwhelming or scary. Because when the ship actually goes to the middle of the ocean towards its destination it’s going to experience some choppy waters. It’s probably going to experience some storms, some waves, it’s going to rock that thing, but it’ll get to its destination. So when you leave the safety and the comfort of your comfort zone and you go out to change the way your story ends you’re going to go through some stuff. I’d rather go through the storms towards my dream than sit in safety and shelter and have my dreams never come true. I don’t know what kind of a takeaway you’re going to have from that type of a conversation right there. 

Let’s see what people said. Katalin: “I found that I had to turn off my autopilot and see what I really want.” Yeah, so this is good, insightful information Katalin. Katalin said, “I had to turn off my autopilot,” so here’s what autopilot is. First of all, human beings are not born with autopilot. Autopilot is a conditioning that happens to us as a result of living in our society. As we grow up in our various stages of development we get programmed of expectations of what we’re supposed to be, who we’re supposed to be, how we’re supposed to be, the typical timelines of life, and it starts to become this tape that runs on autopilot. It completely overtakes our individuality, our unique desires, our unique goals, who we really are. It overtakes it and a lot of people struggle with that. Like I always say, “Do you remember who and what you were before the world told you who and what you’re supposed to be?” And when you’re able to recognize that a lot of that chatter is not yours and it belongs to something else, somewhere else. You can start to turn it off and then you can think clearly about what it is that you actually want. Create your own timeline, create your own standards and expectations of life, and then live by that. Who cares what society says? And who’s society anyways? Who cares what expectations of society are? And we’re all here for like 80, 90 years. You want to live your entire life trying to meet up to the expectations of something that’s just like man-made and created? Or you want to be the author, the creator of your own world? 

Jim said, “As I grew up my vision changed and it will change again.” Way cool! Yeah, that’s a beautiful perspective. And the way we view the world is we only view the world based on who we are in the present moment. And as we develop and learn and grow and have new experiences we also change we are no longer the same. So like a year from now you’re not the same version you are right now. Even though earlier I said your world might not be different but we always change, we go through different experiences, different obstacles, and that ability to change our vision and how we perceive life, it’s infinite. So it is “way cool.” Jim’s been hanging out with too much of our young clients, he’s using the words “way cool” now but it’s a little bit past his, actually no, I think they used it back then too. I don’t know Jim, you gotta let me know on that one. But yeah man, you’re a good example of someone whose perspective is changing because there’s one of my biggest pet peeves. You want to know what it is? I don’t know if I’m saying this to Jim, or I’m saying this to the whole crowd or whatever. One of my biggest pet peeves in life is individuals who have succumbed to who they think they are and then they say something such as, “well it’s really hard to change the older you get. It’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks.” It’s like, man, if you want to believe that go for it, but I can show you countless people who have learned a completely new way of life, completely new way of conversating, completely new way of relating to the people they love in their life, completely new way of taking care of their mind, their body, their health at an old age. So how come those old dogs were able to learn new tricks? But you’ve come to the belief that it’s hard to change because you’re older. It’s hard to change in general. It’s hard for the 18-year-old to change, it’s hard for the 25 year old to change, it’s hard for the 45 year old to change, it’s hard for the 60-year-old to change, and yes it’s hard for the 80-year-old to change. It has nothing to do with how old or young you are. Change is hard. What makes the difference is believing that you can change, believing that you can change. Once you believe you can change, change can happen. But if you don’t have that belief man of course, it’s hard.

Let’s see what Miss Taylor said. Always good to hear from you, Taylor! “That’s exactly how I feel right now. I’m ready for the next level. Life’s a lot better than it used to be but there’s more to go after.” Absolutely! You know, I’m glad that you’re even understanding there is another level. Sometimes people don’t understand that. They just think that life caps out. No it doesn’t, and even if your circumstances don’t cap out, your mindset, the abundance mindset, the gratitude mindset, it’s a beautiful thing. It’s endless. So I hope we’ll be shouting for you Taylor, cheering you on as you go on to the next endeavors of your life. And looking forward to see what that next level looks like for you. “Change sucks but it must be done.” Thank you for simplifying what I say Jim, in a very catchy one sentence. I like to go long-winded. I like to go you know 15 minutes just to say change sucks but it must be done. You know me, man. At this point you know I just like to hear myself talk.



6. So the next one we got here – this is good – it says, “The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” Damn! I don’t know what it’s like to be blind, right? I could close my eyes and I can go through this thing called life and I could really struggle through the uncertainty and the unknown and potential fear and darkness, but I get to open my eyes again, right? But there are people that walk around this life with their eyes open, seeing the things in front of them, seeing what’s coming at them, but they have no vision beyond that. They can’t see beyond the present moment. They can’t see, they can’t visualize a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. Because if you’re able to have vision of the future then you can actually make it become a reality. I say this every week and I’ll say it again – everything in life is made twice – once inside the mind, and once inside reality. If you can’t visualize a world for yourself that is different than the world you have, the world in the future will not change. If you don’t have vision of who you want to be, how you want to live, how you want to feel in this thing called life, then none of those will ever come true. See, you can have sight, you can see, but seeing and vision are two completely different things. Eyesight and vision are two completely different things. I could see this computer screen but if I can’t see a moment in my life a year from now, that’s not able to be tracked with my eyes in this current moment, then that will never come true. I visualize everything. I can’t even tell you guys, I visualized becoming a therapist when I just started back at Community College. I visualized my college degree. I wrote my name on it and wrote a bachelor’s in it when I didn’t have one. I visualized becoming a college teacher. I could just see myself, close my eyes and see myself teaching the students in the college. I visualized becoming a business owner, you know seeing my name as one of the owners of a business. I visualized myself standing on a podium of a sport that I’ve never played in my life but somehow I’ve managed to earn multiple medals in different competitions in different states of the United States. Long before I accomplish any of these I visualize it first, I crystallize it. And not only do I just visualize it, I experience it. I experience the emotions that would be connected to the moment that I actually make it a reality. And those emotions have intensity, and that intensity brings a sense of urgency, and that sense of urgency brings a sense of passion and purpose. If I have a goal 10 years down the line to be traveling and doing speaking engagements for thousands of people I don’t just wait for 10 years down the line to come and happen. In my mind right now there’s already thousands of people in a conference room somewhere listening. I just haven’t spoken yet. That moment just hasn’t arrived yet, but that moment’s already been crystallized inside my mind. It’s already happened. I’m just waiting for the moment to arrive. For it to be a part of reality, the vision’s already been casted, the actions to make it reality are already in motion. And the more you realize that the more you’re going to realize that even the bad things in your life that are happening, sometimes they’re a byproduct of the vision that you’ve had about them. If we create the good, don’t you think we create the bad? So the power of your thoughts, the quality of your thoughts, the type of your thoughts create your world. Be very careful of what kind of thoughts you have. Negative thoughts make you sick. There’s something called psychosomatic illness. If you don’t know what it is I urge you to look it up, but I’ll give you a little hint. Psycho means the mind. Somatic means the body in Latin. Mind-body illness. If you stress all the time, if you worry all the time, if you catastrophize all the time, if you see the negative outcomes all the time, your body will get sick. Your immune system will shut down, you will be exposed to things like autoimmune diseases, potentially even things like cancer. You will have chronic fatigue. You’ll always be sick. It’s not just those things happen to some people sometimes. There’s reasons for it man, reasons for it.



7. Now the next one, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Man, many of life’s failures happened to those people who didn’t know how close they were to success the moment they gave up, and you might be thinking well when does that moment come? How long do I try? You try until you take actions towards your dreams. Until they become a reality. In any moment that you stop before it is stopping before that miracle happens. And the miracle isn’t just something that happens randomly. It’s a byproduct of consistent actions over time. The best analogy here would be this. Let’s say someone signs up to run a freaking marathon. They train for it, they train for 12 weeks, 16 weeks of training. They get in the marathon course. They start running. It’s 26.2 miles is the marathon. When they get to mile 26, right when they’re gonna get through the little thing, they stop, make a U-turn and start walking in a different direction. Sometimes people see the finish line and they don’t go through it. Human beings, man, we’re a fascinating species but if you are in a space in your life that you just want to give up or quit or pull the eject button because you haven’t succeeded yet, what if I told you your success is right over the horizon? It’s a couple days, weeks, months, maybe a year away. Are you willing to finish what you started? Are you willing to go until are you willing to go? I can’t make that decision for you, my friends. My hope is that you do, it really is.



8. This next one right here: “As soon as anyone starts telling you to be realistic, cross that person off your invitation list.” You know when someone comes to me and says, hey, I want to do this or I want to do that, I say heck yes, let’s! That’s what you want to do you want to go to school to be this? Let’s find out what you got to do to get there. It’s going to take you a while. Do you understand? They’re like yes, alright man, nothing can get in the way now. You start with where you are with what you got, you take a class or two, you know it took me seven years. I started going to school at 25. I didn’t graduate school till I was 32. I wanted to be a therapist so if I said I want to be a therapist at 25 they’re like, “man, just be realistic, just get a regular job. You got to make some money, you got to do this, you got to do that.” When people tell you to be realistic, or people kind of water down your dreams, or they kind of encourage you to not pursue something, you know what that actually is? It’s their own fears and their own inadequacies and their own understanding that they didn’t have the courage to actually do what they wanted to do. And guess what, that is so sad. Just because somebody else doesn’t have the courage to actually do something that the world thinks is crazy doesn’t mean you have to follow suit with that. That goes back to society man, and that goes back to the wrong ways of thinking. Don’t get me wrong – if you come to me, if you’re like a 5’6” person that’s never played sports before and you’re 18 years old, you say “I want to go play in the NBA,” I’m like “ah, do you love basketball?” and you might say, “yes.” I’m like, “do you love being around the sports?” You might say, “do you know the human anatomy? Do you like understanding how to heal and help and all that kind of stuff?” They might say yes. I’m like, “Alright man, Kinesiology. Go try to work for a professional sports team. Go try to be a trainer. Go try to be a part of an organization. Go try to be a staff member. Go try to be the person that records videos. Go try to be the person that scouts. There’s a world within a world of basketball. You might not be one of the athletes on the court but guess what, each team has over 23,000 staff members that work for them. Each college, university has hundreds of staff members that work in the athletic departments. Pursue your goals and dreams, man.” I’ll never put anybody down with their dreams ever, because you want to know who actually gets things done are those who are crazy enough to go out and do it. Nobody’s ever done anything like all these entrepreneurs think everybody in their family tells them it’s a bad idea, go to school. Every single person. And they’re like, “no, I just have to do this,” and they eventually do it, and trust me there’s a lot of failure in that world. But don’t ever listen to people that tell you to play life safe. Strive for the best and you’ll be the best. I’m a big believer of this. It’s your own best. If you can strive to be your own best version every day you’ll become the best 100%. But when we compare ourselves to somebody else’s best that’s where we can go wrong. But always you know, strive for your best. 



9. Two more. This one says, “The greatest mistake you can make in life is be continually fearing that you will make one.” So the biggest mistake in life is to constantly be afraid of making a mistake, especially if you come from highly critical parents. If you come from a society that’s been really demanding, that makes you fit in a box, that if you make a mistake then you’re a bad person, or you’re not as good or smart as other people. So people go through life playing safe. They just go live in their comfort zone, terrified of making a mistake. And I could tell you this, that the more I learn and the more I read about success, and the more I learn and read about people that are actually doing the things that everybody wants to do, the more I realize that they are the masters of making mistakes. They have made so many freaking mistakes until they learn how to not make a mistake. But nobody talks about that. Nobody talks about the fact that in order to succeed it’s a series of repetitive mistakes over time and the key to success is not losing enthusiasm or motivation between those mistakes. Which oftentimes lead to failure and that failure is subjective. Every time I make mistakes and I fail you know what I’m like? Hell yeah, I’m one step closer to success. I’m not afraid of making mistakes. I’ve accepted the fact that human beings make mistakes and this is where I got it all by the way. If you’re afraid of making mistakes I want to encourage you and invite you to look at it this way. Start having a little compassion towards yourself and here’s the reason why. Every human being on this planet Earth, all 8.5 billion of us, are going through life for the first time, including you. Now I’m not a rocket scientist or anything but anyone who does anything for the first time will make a mistake, will make multiple mistakes. So you’re going through this thing called life for the first time. Embrace your mistakes, build on your mistakes. They will lead you to transformation and change. Now the key is, will you learn from them? Because if let’s say someone’s trying to play the piano. They’ve never played the piano before. If you start playing a song you’re probably going to make a thousand mistakes, and you start playing that song again. And maybe the next time you make 900 mistakes and then you keep playing it. You know a couple months go by, 500 mistakes. Couple months go by, 200 mistakes. A year goes by, you play that entire five- seven minute song mistake-free. Wow! Now if you start playing the piano, make a thousand mistakes, two months later thousand mistakes, five months later thousand mistakes, a year goes by and you play the same song with a thousand mistakes, it ain’t about the song, it’s about the lessons you did not learn from those mistakes. So mistakes are an opportunity for us to learn from or not. I’ll let you be the deciding factor on what you want to do there.

Let’s see, we got a couple comments here. “Thank you, truly enlightening!” I’m glad it was enlightening you. “Always learn from your mistakes. It’s what makes you better. If you’re not failing you’re not succeeding.” Yeah absolutely, Ricky! 



10. Last one. Went a few minutes extra today. It says, “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” Or “this too shall pass” is four words but it goes on. You know, some of you are going through some very challenging times in your life right now, and I will tell you this with full confidence. Life goes on. And some of you are going through some really awesome, amazing things in your life right now, success, celebration, love, happiness, I will tell you this with full confidence. Life goes on. See, life goes on during the ups and the downs. What’s important is the actions you take or don’t take, the places you go or don’t go, the people you hang out with or don’t hang out with during those ups and downs that will dictate the quality of your life. As long as you don’t attach to the things happening to your life right now and accept that life’s going to go on, this too shall pass, you’re able to go from one storm to another without losing momentum, without losing motivation, without losing enthusiasm, and that’s the best we could do.


So hopefully this talk was able to provide a little bit of inspiration and motivation to some of you watching that maybe just needed a little bit to say, this is not the way the story goes, this is not the way the story ends. And if I did that then I did my job. And I look forward to seeing you next week. I don’t have any travels in plan or no basketball or no pickleball or all that kind of stuff. And will come up with something good and we’ll have a nice session. And if you have any questions, comments, concerns, let me know. Write anything that you want to hear about, if you have any topics you want to hear about, just put them in the comments. I’ll talk on it and I’ll see you next week. Take care, everyone!

Call Buckeye Recovery Today!

Are you in recovery but not making progress? Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery and improved mental health. Our dedicated team of professionals is here to guide and support you every step of the way.

Today is going to be the best day of your life.

Kelsey Gearhart

Director of Business Development

Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.

Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.

Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.