The best analogy I have to show is if I have a closed mind, so if my mind is closed and you or the environment wants to feed me or give me something that can help my life, unfortunately the hand when it’s closed, the mind when it’s closed, does not allow me to take that information. It just falls off. But when I have an open mind and you share information and put wisdom, and put knowledge, and put ideas in in my mind I can close it and take it with me and that’s how life changes. When you come into any talk do you come in with an open or closed mind? When you go into any room do you go in with an open or closed mind? When you have a deep conversation with somebody about things that you feel that they did wrong or things that you’re pissed off about do you go with an open or closed mind?
Open-mindedness is the key to being able to regain what you’ve lost because sometimes you might have to look in places that you’re not looking. Sometimes you might need to hear things in which you are not hearing. Sometimes you might need to see things in which you are not seeing. Sometimes you might need to feel things that you’re not feeling. And the only way to hear, see, feel things in which you are not is by opening your mind to seeing the possibilities that exist.
The Gift of Desperation
Open-mindedness, man, it’s a beautiful thing. A lot of people have a fear of an open mind – it’s safer to keep their mind closed and to live within their limitations. Self-imposed limitations of self and who and what they think they are. I don’t know what it’s going to take – sometimes pain causes us to open our mind, because people start to change when the pain of staying the same becomes too great. I don’t wish that upon anybody but there is a beautiful possibility that exists within pain now, psychological, emotional pain, it’s all the same. When you are in enough pain the motivation to change comes in when your back’s against the wall, when you’re desperate. That’s why they call it the gift of desperation. I mean, how ironic, or how weird, oxymoron it is to call it the gift of desperation.
Why is desperation a gift? Imagine a box, with a little pretty bow on it, the gift of desperation. You open it up and guess what’s inside that gift of desperation?
There’s a key and that key is called the key of willingness.
People become willing to do the things that they aren’t doing in life when they become desperate enough to do so. I think the big difference between people who are really successful and those who aren’t are people who can pick up the key of willingness, even when they’re not desperate. Even when things are going well they continue to do the things that they did when they were desperate. It’s a powerful thing.
From Effort to Effortless
If recovery feels like it’s in the early stages like where people like myself and Jim are right now, when it comes to recovery it’s like autopilot, it’s a way of life, almost effortless, not at all. Not at all times. I went through a crisis last year. There were times that it required effort, after grief and after losing someone you love, but for the most part, most days, most years, everything I do right now is just a way of life, it’s a lifestyle. But in the beginning stages everything took a significant amount of effort. So if you are saying that you are in recovery right, and you’re in early recovery, so you just started this thing and if it feels like everything’s effortless you’re probably just counting days, you’re not actually doing the work.
Because the work is tedious, the work is deep, the work is oftentimes uncomfortable, and is oftentimes overwhelming. Because you start to look at things that you have avoided for a long time. You start to go to places that are brand new. You start to experience emotions oftentimes for the first time. It’s not easy changing your lifestyle, it’s not easy changing the way you live, it’s not easy changing how you engage and interact with the environment. So if it all comes easy to you, all you’re doing is just kind of chilling.
Endure Pain or Give Effort?
Imagine if you lost something – let’s just say you lost the keys inside of one of those places that they have all the trash, you know the little machinery that comes and dumps trash in them and this and that, like a big trash landmine or whatever it is, and someone says you got to go find your keys. You can’t just walk there and just go look for them you got to get dirty, you gotta get grimy, you gotta hunt, you got to lift things, you got to move things. It’s hard to regain the connection that you lost with yourself. It’s hard if trauma made you lose your connection, if a traumatic experience, if abuse made you lose it. You can’t just say, “Okay, I’m in recovery from my trauma now and I’m going to be okay.” Oh man, you got to go do the work. I know the thought of that is overwhelming but so is living a life disconnected from self. That’s where all the anxiety disorders, depression disorder, substance abuse, people pleasing, all the negative traits that you’re trying to work on, all happen because you’re disconnected from yourself. So either stay disconnected or endure the pain and give the effort to reconnect. Choice is yours.
Call Buckeye Recovery Today!
Are you in recovery but not making progress? Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery and improved mental health. Our dedicated team of professionals is here to guide and support you every step of the way.