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Changing a Complex Behavior is not Easy

First and foremost I hope that the only reason you’re reading this is not because you want someone else in your life to change. So some of you find these types of talks and these types of programs and these types of sets because you have a loved one, someone you dearly love in your life, potentially your child, potentially your spouse, potentially your grandkid, potentially your sibling, your friend. They might be struggling with addictions and mental illness. And you’re like, alright well, I just want to help them out, that person needs to change. If that’s the mindset that you have you’re going to really struggle, not just with these types of worlds but just in life. Because there is no person who needs to change without looking at self. It’s very immature and shortsighted to think that your issues in life are solely because of somebody else. 

All Behaviors are Complex

So number one principle of change is to remember that all human behavior is complex, all behaviors are complex. What does that mean? There is no behavior that’s happening right now that is not tied to and connected to past life experiences and ways that individuals had to adapt, cope, navigate through life. Behavior is something that’s like, why does that person keep doing it? Okay, understood. Let’s go deeper. When did this person start doing this? Because it didn’t happen right now. They’ve probably been doing these type of things for a long time now. Okay so when you identify the When and then you go back to the Why they started to do it, and you could do this with yourself, if you’re doing some things that are maladaptive or they’re not conducive or helping you in your life. It’s not like why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep doing this? Don’t do that. Go back to when you first started it and then ask yourself why did I start doing it back then? See the answers are in the digging. When you look at it from a bird’s eye view, a 360 view, you’re able to start to identify reasons for why behavior exists. And it is important for us to remember that these reasons matter and they are different for everybody. No two people usually have the same reason for doing anything. And when you understand the Why of it all, it’s going to all make sense. So don’t be too harsh on yourself. Don’t get too mad at yourself if you’re doing things that you don’t think are what you should be doing. Just keep asking yourself the Why. 

Dig Deep

My main job at Buckeye, my title there is a Chief Operating Officer, and I’m a clinician. My background to be an operator is a completely different world. So I read a lot of books and watch a lot of podcasts, watch a lot of YouTube videos, and listen to a lot of podcasts on interviews with COOs. I had no idea what I was doing. And one thing I came across is this thing called the Root Cause Analysis, and they do this in small to large to mega Fortune 500 companies. When something goes wrong in the operations they do a root cause analysis. So they try to dig five levels. You ask why did this happen, why did the breakdown happen? And then you go down to the next one – why did that breakdown happen? You go down the next one, why did that happen? Next one. By the time you dig five levels you’ll get to the root cause of the problem. And human beings are the same way. Sometimes we have operational issues. We’re not operating the way we need to operate, and it’s not just like, well what’s wrong with it? Dig deep, dig deep, dig deep. So your homework on that one is to realize what is it in your own life that you do that’s kind of puzzling you, and find out why it’s happening.

New Behaviors must be Protected

So new behaviors, when you’re trying to change your life around, you’re going to start coming up with some new behaviors, potentially some new ways of living life, new places you go, new people you hang out with. As a byproduct of all that you’re going to start having some changes in your life. However, think about how long, so let’s imagine we have a scale here. Back a little further on this side of the scale, on this side is all of the years you’ve lived a certain way, 20, 30, 40, 50 years. On this side of the scale is the changes that you’ve made in your life for the past few weeks, past few months, maybe past year. If you don’t protect the heck out of these changes, which side is going to win every time? The old you is going to win if you don’t protect the new you. The new you cannot be exposed to the people, places and things that caused the old you to become who they became. And there’s certain times you can’t restrict yourself from everyone so you got to learn how to set boundaries. We’ll talk about that. We always have and you got to protect that and also we protect ourselves from our internal thoughts, the damn things our brain tells us about ourselves that aren’t true. That you’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, you can’t do it, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. None of that’s true, so please please please please please learn how to protect yourself. Protect your change.

Call Buckeye Recovery Today!

Are you in recovery but not making progress? Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery and improved mental health. Our dedicated team of professionals is here to guide and support you every step of the way.

Today is going to be the best day of your life.

Kelsey Gearhart

Director of Business Development

Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.

Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.

Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.