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Do You Have Unrealistic Expectations in Your Relationships?

If you have unrealistic expectations in various relationships it is a telltale sign that you need to be remothered by a maternal role. A mom doesn’t necessarily have to be your biological mother. A mom doesn’t necessarily have to be the person that’s supposed to be your mom. Sometimes mothers come in various different ways and shapes and sizes and forms. Sometimes it could be a stepparent. Sometimes it could be a grandparent. Sometimes it could be an older sibling and it also doesn’t even have to be a female. We had a counselor here who sometimes pops on. His name is Tony – he played the maternal role, playing the maternal role to this day, when he started working with us seven or eight years ago. He had a four-year-old daughter and the mom was not in the life and he as a father took on the maternal role and raised this person like a mom would. So a maternal role could be played by many different people but regardless of who your mom was and how they showed up or didn’t show up, I believe that all human beings that come across our path in life they’re there for either like a blessing in our life to really just say, “God, I’m so grateful to have this in my life,” or they come in, they teach us a lesson.

Know Better, Do Better

Sometimes learning what not to do is just as important as learning what to do.. By learning how not to be is just as important is learning of how to be – we learn from all that stuff if we choose to put aside the resentment, animosity, anger that we may have from an experience and say, how can I learn from this experience. And if you’re also a mom watching this right now I know that you’re here because either your loved one has had some addiction in their life, maybe they’ve had some challenges in their life, and you just want to do what you want to do to help. I want to tell you this. Please know that you didn’t solely cause the addiction, and you can’t cure it either. I know you want to just take away the pain of someone and you want to be able to make sure they’re okay but you can’t cure this thing. And trust me when I say this. You can’t control it either. How many mothers and parents try their best to control the outcome of the lives of their children and they realize the more they try to control it the more it becomes out of control. The more they try to control it the more they lose control themselves. And before you know it the loved one’s sick, the mom’s sick, everyone’s sick, and it’s just a very very dysfunctional family system. Please remember this – that you did what you did at the time and it was the best you knew. Especially if you were never raised well how are you supposed to give something you don’t have? But now my friends that are better, you are responsible to do better now that you know better, you’re just responsible to do better.

When You Notice You Have Unrealistic Expectations

A child has certain expectations. What are those expectations? To show up, to be present, to be emotionally available, to have compassion, to have love, to have support. And if you did not receive that growing up now you get into your own relationships in life and because you have this deficit of this need for a version of a human to show up in a certain way and they never showed up, guess what’s going to happen in your personal relationships? You’re going to have unrealistic expectations of your partner, of your spouse, of your child, and if you constantly see that you are hoping and expecting someone to show up a certain way and they don’t it’s not because that person’s wrong or bad. It’s not because you’re bad. It just has to do with the fact that growing up you wanted someone to show up in a certain way and they didn’t. So that’s a telltale sign right there – number one, unrealistic expectations in various relationships. So you can do your own assessment of the relationships in your life and check what your expectations are of the people and places and things in it. If they’re unrealistic, if you want someone to do something they can’t do, potentially it goes back to your own upbringing in your own childhood.

Call Buckeye Recovery Today!

Are you in recovery but not making progress? Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery and improved mental health. Our dedicated team of professionals is here to guide and support you every step of the way.

Today is going to be the best day of your life.

Kelsey Gearhart

Director of Business Development

Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.

Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.

Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.