COVID-19 Update: We are currently accepting new clients with increased safety measures. LEARN MORE ›

Positive Change: Know More, Do Better

Change must be Positive. There’s this guy named BF Skinner, who is one of the founding fathers of contemporary psychology, did a lot of work on something called positive reinforcement. Society for a long time thinks that in order to change behavior you got to give them negative reinforcement. Like you do something bad you get punished. You do something bad man, we don’t respond that way as human beings. Now am I saying that there are negative things that potentially happen to people as a result of choices? For sure there is, because here’s the thing in life. You, my friends, are free to do anything you want to do, anything. We got free will. However you are not free from the consequences of those choices. Simple as that. So in life you’re free to do anything you want to do in life, none of my business. Just know that those actions are going to have positive or negative consequences which you are not free of. So it comes down to a choice. Again, negative reinforcement, like I was saying, it doesn’t work. It didn’t work for anybody in human history. Look at all the kids that get sent to principal’s offices, look at all the people that go to jails, look at all the people who get put on probation, on leave. It doesn’t work. Positive reinforcement creates the internal motivation to continue doing something. When you start to see positive changes as a result of the changes you’re trying to make, you’re going to do more of those changes. Make sure whatever it is you’re trying to change you find ways to enjoy it. You might not enjoy the process in the beginning because you’re looking for a specific outcome but once you learn to fall in love with the process, oh my God, does the outcome take care of itself. You got to be process driven in life, not outcome driven. The process leads to the outcome you want.

Know More and Do Better

This is good for family members that hold themselves hostage. So I want to go ahead and relieve all of you humans who are holding your past self hostage for what he or she or they didn’t do. Well, here’s the thing man. People do the best they can with the information they got at the time that they do it. So if you went through an experience years ago and right now you’re looking back like, God why did I do it that way, why did I put up with it, why did I do this, why did I do that, and you’re holding yourself hostage for what you did in the past, let that go. Here’s the reason why. You, my friends, did not know any better at the time. But here’s the thing and this is the catch. And I really need you to understand this. That in life if you now know better you are solely responsible for doing better. I always tell people there ain’t no such thing as failure. If somebody comes back and has struggled or relapsed or had some behavior relapses and they’re just pissed off at themselves I’m like, “Alright you know I’m sorry you had to go through that experience, but I’m also grateful that you have to go through that experience. Here’s the reason why. I’m only grateful if you tell me what you got out of it.” If they don’t take the experience and know any better, they will (I’m not saying might, they will) repeat the past again. The same way you in your life have gone through an experience, didn’t learn from it, tell me how did it go the next time it came back around?

Until you learn, the lesson’s going to keep repeating itself.

I rarely ever feel bad for somebody that says I don’t know why this keeps happening to me, I really don’t. And it’s not that I don’t have any empathy or compassion for that person because they’re not doing their due diligence of reflecting back on that experience, extrapolating and pulling the information they need in order to protect themselves and prevent that from happening again. Nothing in life just keeps happening to us. We have a part in everything that happens. Now, are there freak accidents in life? Yes. Alright, we’re not talking about the 1% situation or the half percent situation that may happen once in your freaking life. For the most part it’s all patterns, it’s all routines, and until you learn, the lesson’s going to keep repeating itself. I’m a college professor now so I could say this – the lessons in life continue to repeat themselves until you, the student, have understood its lesson. Now, some people do, some people don’t. I really don’t care. I work with family members that don’t understand the lesson, I work with family members that do. The ones that do, they protect themselves, they make their lives a little bit better. The ones that don’t, keep saying I don’t know why this keeps happening to us, human behavior is mysterious, you know it really is. 

Call Buckeye Recovery Today!

Are you in recovery but not making progress? Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery and improved mental health. Our dedicated team of professionals is here to guide and support you every step of the way.

Today is going to be the best day of your life.

Kelsey Gearhart

Director of Business Development

Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.

Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.

Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.