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STOP and Measure Results

There is no point to get into action and to have activity towards your goals if you don’t stop and measure the results, because first of all how the heck do, when you got there, how do you know that you actually improved on the day before? How do you know if what you’re doing is even working and getting you to the right direction? So you have to measure the results and if you haven’t started that yet about the future I’ll give you an exercise you could do when you think about your philosophy on activity.

Exercise: Write Down Your Accomplishments

This is what I want you to do – I want you to look back on the last week of your life and write down all the things that you accomplished based on the things that you should have done, on the things that you need to do, that you wanted to do. Let’s avoid the word ‘should.’ I know some people get weird about it. In the past week, what did you need to do, what did you want to do, what did you have to do. And then write down all the accomplishments in the last month – what did you need to do, want to do, should have done, all that kind of stuff. Write them all down. In the last year what have you accomplished? In the last decade what have you accomplished? Now look at that list with pure honest eyes, non-judgmental eyes. This is an exercise – it’s not to make you feel bad about it, it’s not to make you feel ashamed about it, it’s not to make you feel like you’re just wasting your life, or you’re just spitting in circles, it’s none of that. It’s for you as an adult or young adult, whatever age you are watching this, to look at that list, to look at it and just get really honest with yourself about the results of your activity. 

 

Now some of you might look at that list and say “wow, I’ve over accomplished, I’ve achieved, I’m so happy, I’m so grateful, I can see that all the work I’m doing is leading me to all these beautiful accomplishments.” And some of you might say “I can’t even think of five things to write on a piece of paper about the last year. And whether you’re in the first school of thought or the second school of thought it’ll matter at least where you are, at least you’re being honest with yourself and then you say “okay, if I did this exercise next year would I be happy with the same results?” Some of you might say “yeah, I’m cool with it,” and some of you might say “no, I don’t want this for another day of my life, let alone another year of my life.” And that’s when you realize how closely your philosophy to activity has to do with the results you get in life. If you are trying to get specific results in your life and you’re not getting them, your philosophy towards your activity is flawed and skewed. I’m telling you this, I keep saying this, this is probably my fifth time in the same talk saying this. If you think your future is going to change without doing something different today you are delusional, you are lying to yourself, you are just pulling the thing over your eyes, and just hoping you got a blindfold on, you’re throwing darts and there’s no target in front of you.

No Judgments in Relapse

So this is big. I find that letting go of judgment of myself and others helps to open door of change. So once you get true with yourself, of where you are, you don’t look at it and say, “oh I’m so bad, I’m so lazy, I’m so this, I’m so that,” you just say “okay that’s where I am.” You don’t resist it, you don’t fight it, you don’t judge it. If anything, you say “Hey, you’re a wonderful human being that’s about to go on a journey, let me get you, I got you.” But when we judge and critique and criticize and all that kind of stuff a whole lot of bad stuff happens. 

 

For people that don’t know, relapse happens after somebody is on the recovery journey, whether that’s from substances, or eating disorders, or mental illness, or grief and loss, trauma, whatever you want to call it, and they’ve been able to achieve a little bit of recovery time, so they’re working on themselves again and know themselves or finding out their cravings or triggers, they’re building a support network, they’re changing their whole entire way that they live their life, and then boom, something happens right? Something happens that was more than their ability to regulate their emotions – so maybe they got to experience something really sad, maybe they experienced something really good, we relapse over different things but then there was a relapse which is the continuation of the use. So they picked up the drink, let’s just call it, and they started drinking again, they picked up the drug, and they started using again, and thankfully in this case the person is still alive. Because unfortunately we always don’t get another relapse, sometimes we don’t get another recovery. So here’s my best advice – you just get back up and you start again. And here’s the reason why I say that. Because let’s just say you had x amount of time and then there was a relapse when you pick up and start again. It’s not like all of that valuable information and discovery and recovery all goes away with the date. It’s still inside you so when you pick up and you move forward you get to use all that experience, all that knowledge, and the most important part, you better find out what it was that led you to that relapse. Because if you don’t get clear with that, if you don’t get right with that, if you don’t get fully fully fully present with it, the odds of that same thing taking you out again is going to exist.

Relapse can be a Wonderful Lesson

So in this case the relapse becomes a wonderful learning lesson, a wonderful tool that allows you to find out what you need to do differently to prevent that from happening again. And remember this – in the program they say that addiction and alcoholism is progressive so if I’m drinking let’s say a bottle of alcohol a day and then I stop for a while and then I pick up again, it’ll take me not too long to get back to that same amount of alcohol. Recovery is the same way – recovery is progressive – if you were doing all these things for your recovery and you stopped and you relapse, when you pick up again you can get back to where you were like with a significant amount of time, in a shorter amount of time. That’s how you deal with it. There’s no magic potion. And also you got to do this every time you want to quit – remember why you started. There is a reason, there is a why, there is a motivating factor in people’s sobriety. I don’t know you, I don’t know what yours is, but I do know this, that you have one. Make sure that thing, that image, that motivating factor is so fresh in your foresight at all times. If you have to put reminders for yourself, if you have to put pictures, if you have to put Post-its, whatever you got to do, make sure that reason is crystal clear, make sure it’s crystal clear.  

 

The quote that I really love says the following.

It’s better to be sober and inside the rooms of recovery thinking about drinking, than it is to be drunk wishing that you were in the rooms and sober.

There’s nothing wrong with thinking about this stuff but make sure you talk about and get support around yourself. I’ve known many people who have had long-term sobriety, lost it and achieved it again – it is possible. I’m not selling something that’s not real. And if there’s been any type of new trauma, new life event situations, don’t sleep on getting some therapy support okay? I know therapy sometimes for people could be expensive. If you don’t have the proper insurance please look into local resources, look into any colleges around you, sometimes they have training sites with interns that are really freaking good, there are gradual level interns online, there’s a lot of ways to do therapy right now. But just don’t sleep on all that stuff – it’s very important. If anybody ever tells you therapy is not important, it doesn’t work, it’s the philosophy they have towards therapy. Those same people usually have trust issues, those same people usually think that there’s always an angle to something, they’re very pessimistic, they think that something works for someone else but not them, has nothing to do with the therapist or the therapy.

Call Buckeye Recovery Today!

Are you in recovery but not making progress? Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery and improved mental health. Our dedicated team of professionals is here to guide and support you every step of the way.

Today is going to be the best day of your life.

Kelsey Gearhart

Director of Business Development

Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.

Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.

Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.