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Success Leaves Clues

What is up, everyone? Good Morning and Happy Saturday! It is March 9th of 2024 so if you’re watching this at 9:15 a.m. Pacific Standard Time on that specific date this is a live stream. And if you happen to watch this later, whenever you watch it, wherever you watch it, I just want to say, welcome to another education and support group on various topics such as addictions, mental health, personal development, transformation, change, growth, communication, boundaries, trust, self-care regimen, and a little bit of everything in between. So the way this live stream works is, I am your host on a week- to week basis. My name is Parham. I have a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, with an emphasis in Child Development. However I rarely do any therapy these days. I kind of just manage a therapeutic environment and ecosystem known as Buckeye Recovery Network, the Ohio House, Chadwick House. I do some side stuff with performance coaching and mindset development with certain individuals, kind of help them go from where they are to where they want to be in life. I am in recovery myself. June 13th of 2008, so we’re about three months away from a sweet 16. But as counselor Jim knows, we don’t give fronts – I got to sleep, wake up, sleep, wake up, sleep, wake up, for another three months without doing anything suspicious in between. And if I do so then you know we’ll get there. That’s a big deal. And then I’ll be teaching a community college class at Saddleback Community College here in the spring, the second eight weeks titled Family Dynamics and Dysfunctional Family, so right down my wheelhouse. There’s already 50 students signed up. It’s going to be rough – my first class teaching. I also coach high school basketball. I’ve been doing that for 15 years and I’m an avid pickleball enthusiast, and aspiring to do great things in that world for myself. So all that being said, you’re not here to hear my autobiography. You’re here because there’s a situation in your life that you are in need of support for and what is that situation, what is that crisis? Sometimes it could be someone in your life who’s experienced a little something with addictions and mental illness, maybe trauma, maybe grief and loss, maybe that person’s yourself. Maybe you are the one that needs to listen to these talks to find out what happened to this thing called life, and how am I going to get there?

Good Morning to those who popped up. We got some usual suspects – counselor Jim, Bita, who’s been around for a while, and Mom and Dad who’ve known me the longest out of any human being on this planet. So if you come up and say what’s up, just so you can see, if you’re new I could put up your comments on the screen, whether you’re from Facebook, or from YouTube, it doesn’t matter. And if you have any questions you can stop me at any time. You can inquire and/or tell me to elaborate some more and we go from there. 

I’ve done this before but sometimes when I teach an old topic I’m able to articulate it a little bit better, because guess what, I’ve also been working on myself the way I tell you to work on yourself. So I am able to see things from different perspectives and come up with ways of expressing thoughts and ideas in a way that I haven’t in the past. So if you’ve been a part of our community for a while and you’ve heard this before just be receptive and open to receiving something new. If you’ve ever done a book study or something like that and you read a book, and maybe a couple years later you read it and completely feels like a different book, the book didn’t change, you did. And if it didn’t, oh that means you didn’t. So today’s talk is really different – it’s interesting and it’s titled, Success Leaves Clues. You might be thinking what kind of clues is this guy talking about? Well, everything in life leaves clues. I always say our values are like fingerprints – we leave them on everything we touch. So success in successful people, and whatever your broad definition of success is, it’s very subjective. There are probably some clues that they’re leaving behind on the way they live their life, how they talk to people, how they interact with themselves and others, that are just signs and signals for us to be able to look at and hopefully replicate, so we can duplicate the same type of success. So in order to really understand this I’m going to do my best attempt to break down a little bit of comedy by a man named Chris Rock. So Chris Rock is a really famous comedian. We all know Chris Rock and love Chris Rock – pretty funny guy – he has this skit that he just talks about being in relationships and being in love, you know, we’ve all been there and we know the roller coaster that can be, or is, or will be. And the thing about it is this. He’s like, “You know, if you’ve never contemplated murder then you’ve never been in love,” and he just keeps going and going and he says, “you know, if you never thought how you’re going to kill the person you’re on the internet searching and researching how I can kill somebody and get away with it,” then you’ve never been in love. If you’ve never gone down to a local Home Depot and bought yourself a shovel you’ve never been in love. If you’ve never thought about how you’re going to use the rug to roll the body inside and put it in your trunk you’ve never been in love. If you’ve never stood in front of a mirror and read your alibi over and over and over again then you’ve never been in love. And he says the only thing that stopped you from killing the person was an episode of CSI. Here’s why that’s funny. Because what happens in CSI? Well, it usually starts off with some type of murder and the cops come on scene and nobody knows what happened, why it happened, how it happened, nothing. But by the end of the episode, after a couple twists and turns and a little bit of cliffhangers and a little bit of taking you down the wrong path, they eventually get down to the murder suspect and who committed the crime. How do they go from uncertainty to certainty? In most cases how do they just know that? Because murder leaves clues, it leaves fingerprints, it leaves things like motives that they discover through conversations, it leaves signals from cell phones, it leaves tracking of cars, it leaves a lot of different things, purchases that someone had, the internet browser searches someone had, it leaves it all there. And by following all those clues you actually get to the end results. So obviously this is a talk about personal development – how you’re going to make your life better and how you’re going to make your recovery better. So we’re not talking about murder. We’re talking about success. Success does the same thing. All successful people leave clues behind for us to be able to observe, to be able to learn, to be able to replicate with the intention of duplication in our own lives. So again, success is something very subjective. Subjective means that it could have a different meaning or interpretation for different people and that’s okay. But these 10 clues that I’m about to share with you are pretty much in all of those versions. So whether your success is entrepreneurship, your business, whether it’s about relationships, communication, whether it’s about having a certain amount of health in your health bank, or a combination of all of that, then I strongly encourage you, my friends, to listen to these clues, see which ones you possess and which ones you might need, and we’ll go from there. 

What’s up Katalin? We got an international crowd right now, I like that.


1. So the first one is this thing called a sense of purpose. Human beings that are successful in life oftentimes have a sense of purpose. For some, that purpose might be something very grand and large, like making the world a better place. For some it might be making the experience of their employees more rich and more valuable on a day-to-day basis. For some, it might be to make sure that they don’t repeat the same things that their parents repeated to them when they’re raising their children. For some, it might be to be in an optimal mind-body-physical shape. Whatever it is, you must have a sense of purpose. A lot of people come to talks like this feeling lost but the beauty of being lost is this, that’s the only way you can be found. Nothing in life is ever found until it’s lost. We got to think about all the lost and found for a reason. In human beings sometimes we’re in this massive lost and found pile. It’s okay to be lost sometimes, it’s okay as long as you have the intention to find yourself, and find your purpose, and find your passion, and live a life based on that. My goal, my purpose in life is to leave this planet better than I found it, that’s about it. Hopefully along the way I will have some really cool experiences, help some people out knowing that they were unable to do it on their own, smile, go through failure without losing enthusiasm, not lose my path when times get tough and it gets dark outside and the storms come. I got a purpose and I hope that you also seek and find your purpose. Because if you don’t you’re going to be lost in this thing. I said this last week: life is mysterious. We are on a floating, flying, spinning rock in the middle of this thing called the galaxy that exists in this thing called space, that as far as we know is potentially infinite, and we go to school and they teach us these nine planets and we think we know everything about space, not knowing that within our galaxy there are 50 million other planets. It’s not just the nine they taught us. There’s 50 million other ones. So if you don’t have a sense of purpose as this thing spins around itself and flies as fast as it can through this infinite thing called the space in within our galaxy, it’s easy to be lost. So find a sense of purpose for yourself in your life. Successful people do.


2. The next one we have, my friends, is this thing called self-confidence. Self-confidence is not something that you’re born with. Self-confidence is not something that you can go by. Self-confidence is not something that you could sit around and wait and one day it’s going to knock on your door and appear in your life. Self-confidence is earned. Self-confidence is created. Self-confidence is nurtured, fostered and maintained. Self-confidence comes from not neglecting the simple daily tasks of life, when you do what you are supposed to do, what you need to do, what you’re required to do, on a day-in and day-out basis, it starts to create this thing called confidence of the individual that’s doing those acts. You do it for a while and all of a sudden you look at the mirror and you see a confident reflection, because you did not neglect the daily disciplines of your life. One of the biggest challenges that people who come into this healing and recovery space is they share that they have low self-esteem and low self-confidence. My self-confidence when I came to these types of worlds back 15 years and 9 months ago was epsilon – it was smaller than small – it was just non-existent. Why, because I was just going from failure after failure. I was starting things and I wasn’t finishing them. I had to-do lists that never got done. I had daily disciplines that needed to be completed yet I failed to do all of them. As an end result my confidence was minimal, and as I started to realize that hey, I have to take care of the little things in life because the little things are the big things. I started to put one day after another one day after another. Eventually I started to get confident and confidence is different than cockiness. See, a person that’s cocky feels that they’re entitled to something without putting in the work. A person that’s confident knows that the reason why they deserve a certain feeling is because they put in the work. So self-confidence is something that you must strive to develop.


3. The next one that we have here is something called enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is something that definitely cannot be purchased. Enthusiasm is definitely something that you just can’t roll over one day and get up out of bed and say “I’m going to be enthusiastic today.” Enthusiasm comes from self discipline. It’s born out of self confidence. So if you just came in right now and you’re wondering what we’re talking about, we’re talking about success leaving clues. The third clue that we’re on is this thing called enthusiasm, and I’m telling you this, that in life, in order to be successful you must be enthusiastic about the things you do, the places you go, the interactions you have, and the life you live. I’ve yet to meet a successful person who’s not fiercely enthusiastic about what they do, believe in what they do. And where does that come from? It comes from self-confidence. Where does self-confidence come from? Not neglecting the daily disciplines of your life. You see me here every Saturday. For the most part, this level of enthusiasm that I have is not something that I just say, “Okay one, two, three, lights on! What’s up everyone? I’m going to be enthusiastic today.” Man, it’s something that exists inside my soul for this type of work I do. I didn’t have it until I became confident in the skills that I possess in relaying information and having the ability to communicate, articulate and transfer information from one person to another. So if I hope I’m modeling what enthusiasm looks like and it’s 90% inside 10% outside. Sometimes people think that enthusiasm, they’re going to be struck by it one day. No, you’re not. That’s a momentary window of opportunity. It’s like a spark. Now what you do with that spark? You know Jim Rann, who is one of the fathers of personal development, you know what he said? He said, “I hope to God in life that you either get desperate or inspired to change. We only change from one or two things: desperation or inspiration.” Desperation is painful, tough, rough, scary but good. Inspiration is easier, softer, gentler, but good. I hope you choose inspiration rather than desperation. But from my research through human development and working with people for over a decade I’ve realized that desperation usually is the catalyst to change, because inspiration is short-lived. You can get inspired by a talk I have and say I’m going to go do some good [ __ ] today but next week, next month, next year, if you’re not exposed to this information you’re going to fall back to the same old ways. So hopefully that resonated. 

Sure, Good Morning Jim! “Starting at zero there are no limits.” Yeah man, there’s nothing wrong with zero. Hey sometimes we even start below zero. Just getting to zero feels good but once you realize that the path is endless and limitless, what you do with that is up to you.


4. The next one we have is something called expertise. Most people that are very successful in life demonstrate and possess a level of mastery of what they do, also known as an expertise in what they do. Think about your favorite actor, musician, athlete, writer, artist – do you like them, love them, look up to them, are inspired by them because they are just good at what they do, or are they great at what they do? Are they extraordinary at what they do? Are they exceptional at what they do? I know the answer. See, successful people are literally in possession of expertise and mastery of their craft and it doesn’t just go to these popular people that are in the limelight. The best teachers in the world, the best physicians in the world, the best nurses, doctors, mechanics, pilots, whatever field you’re talking about, the ones that are really, really good have a level of expertise. So my friends, if you’re trying to become successful in life you must become an expert at what you do. And if you say, hey man, I’m just happy and content with the way I am, that’s okay too. There’s a lot of average people that do average things. Nothing wrong with that. And I’m not talking down on it. If you just say you know what, I just want to be good enough, that’s okay, but if you want to be successful to the point that you’re the best, you must have the skill set of the best. And maybe it’s a challenge, maybe it’s scary, maybe it’s overwhelming, but I’m telling you – the same way you look up to specific people because of how good they are at what they do, therefore it shows you what it is that you need to do to be just as good. Expertise – it’s a beautiful thing, you know, and I always say I can go back. The first time I did this talk was probably four years ago – if I go watch that talk I hope to God that I cringe from watching myself speak. I hope that I get sad about, oh my goodness, I thought I was good back then, look at me now. And here’s the thing – I hope that four years from now if I ever do this talk again which I probably will, that I look back to this moment and say, what the heck was I thinking, how did I not know how to deliver information in a more efficient, streamlined, productive, connected way? I will be able to then. Because I know, like Jim said, there are no limits to this thing called growth, personal development, transformation.

Let’s see: “I started with desperation and climbed to inspiration.” Absolutely you did, Katalin! You know, we usually come in and we’re desperate. Desperate to change, desperate to grow, desperate to just experience something different. And once we do then the gift of desperation goes away. That’s why it’s a gift. It goes away. We have to access the transformative power that desperation exists and then we have to put ourselves in spaces, in places, in surroundings in which we are continuously inspired to maintain those changes. Sometimes people say, “well, why do I need to get motivated or inspired all the time?” It’s simple. Why do you take a shower every day? Because if you don’t you’re going to stink up the place. The shower you took on Wednesday doesn’t mean anything today, on Saturday. You must shower again to be fresh. The inspiration you were exposed to in a talk a week ago doesn’t mean anything today if you don’t get inspired again. Very simple logic. Constantly put yourself around moments and people and experiences that inspire you to change. We need it because if not we take the path of least resistance. We are afraid of the unknown. We are overcome with doubt, self-doubt crippling us from our progress. But as long as you’re inspired you can take on anything so hopefully that helps somebody out there in this world.


5. The next one we have is something called preparation. And it’s believed that life does not waste success on those who are not prepared. If you fail to prepare in life then prepare to fail in life. There are humans who go through this thing called life completely with a lack of preparation of what is needed on a day-in and day-out basis in order to succeed. If I decided to go to Alaska right now or the North Pole and I just roll up in some Cali clothing, a little t-shirt, a little bag, some Lulu Lemon pants and I just roll up to the North Pole, yo I’m gonna die. I’m gonna freeze. In order to not die in the North Pole I will get prepared for a trip that’s going to be -20 degrees, I will have thermals, I will have heat packs, I will have the warmest clothing that’s available to buy online, I will have supplies first. Because if you fail to prepare then prepare to fail. In that case the person freezes and dies. In life it’s the same way. You are going through this thing called life and you’re not prepared. What do you think is going to happen? Do you just think by chance, by luck everything’s going to work out? Get prepared and then take on life and see what happens. Life does not waste success on those who are not prepared. I don’t know why sometimes we think that we could just show up. Don’t get me wrong, showing up is more than half the battle. Oftentimes those who succeed and those who don’t, one of the main reasons is because one of them just showed up over and over again, and eventually they just caught something, or realized something, or figured out something in that journey. But if you’re not prepared and you don’t show up and you’re just sitting back and hoping and wishing and dreaming for life to get good, to become successful, I mean you really think it’s going to happen? I like how people sometimes hold on to a little bit of hope. Life ain’t a lottery ticket, man. I understand there’s this thing called the lottery that we’ve created and it brings hope to people but remove that for a second. The rest of life is not a lottery. You don’t just walk around and just get lucky. Some people believe that luck is the intersection that hard work and opportunity cross each other. Some people call that luck but you know what? Without the hard work and without the opportunity, and by the way hard work includes planning. There is no such thing as luck. I’ve had times when people say, “man, you’re just lucky. You’re at the right time at the right place.” Come on, you think I just ended up at that place by chance? The reason I was even there was from the hard work, opportunity arose, I took it. Some call that luck. I don’t. You can create your own luck, you could generate your own luck, and that might be a controversial statement for those of you who feel like you just never catch a break. But there is some truth to it.


6. The next one we have is this thing called a sense of responsibility. Successful people leave behind this characteristic frequently. Responsibility is the highest form of human maturity. It’s okay to make mistakes in life, it’s okay to fall short in life, it’s okay to sometimes just not get it done, but are you willing to take responsibility for what you did or what you did not do? Are you willing to take full responsibility for your life and the quality of it? As soon as things fall apart, was it your fault, or do you look around and scan the room and scan the world for reasons why you failed, and say, “Ah, that’s it right there! It’s not my fault. Look what they did to me. Look what they said to me. Look how they treated me.” It’s just a choice on how you perceive and how you experience this thing called life. Whenever something big, like an airplane crashes, let’s say one of the big carriers. There’s a big unfortunate airplane crash and you know, when they have a press conference and you watch CNN or Fox or whatever the heck you watch, and all of a sudden they say, “Oh oh, we’re going live to the press conference,” who stands in front of the room and answers questions? It’s usually a very, very high level executive, like the CEO, or the CMO, or the COO, and they say, “Myself and our company takes full responsibility for this man.” The guy was probably traveling on his holiday bonus somewhere to some fancy island with his family, he wasn’t even a part of this whole process, but he took full responsibility, or she took full responsibility. It’s because it’s what leaders do – it’s what successful people do. And I want you to know that I’ve been on record countless times saying that there are things in your life that have happened that were not your fault. I know this for a fact. I’m a freaking clinician. I’ve heard tragic stories of people saying things that have happened to them that are just so heartbreaking and so intense and so sad. That wasn’t their fault. They just happened to be brought up in a world that was dysfunctional and chaotic and they got the worst of it. But I also say this to them, that even though it wasn’t your fault, all this happening to you wasn’t your fault, you’re actually responsible from healing from it. And that’s a hard pill to swallow for some people. It’s like, “hey, didn’t you hear what I told you? What he or she did to me? You’re telling me I’m responsible for it?” I said, “No it’s their fault, but you’re responsible for healing from it.” And the moment you realize that, even though things happen to you, especially at a young age when you were vulnerable, and just at risk, and as an adult right now you’re responsible for taking care of those wounds, is the moment you start to realize something about life. That you could change your life, you could change your story, you don’t have to live in the confines of your past, you can create a future that’s endless and limitless and beautiful, full of success. How you go about this, how you navigate through this is really your responsibility. I feel responsible for sharing that.

Katalin said, “A friend of mine used to say, luck comes your way all the time but you have to bump into it yourself.” Yeah, you know the more you listen to successful people the more they will tell you that at some point in their life they came across something or someone that changed their life around. But what they also don’t say is that something or someone didn’t just come around when they were sitting around. People that are successful are in this constant quest and hunger to become successful. So that means prior to bumping into that person they were doing everything they possibly could every day to become whatever heck they were going to become. Then one day life just put that person in front of them and that’s the whole thing that a lot of people don’t understand. People just think that person is going to show up and they’re going to catch their break. No, you’re not, no, you’re not. You catch your break when you put in the work and I hope you believe that.


7. So the next one we have is this thing called image. Successful people have a specific type of image that they uphold and when I talk about the word image I really want you to consider this. This is an original talk I’ve given for the past Oh God, 15 years. So in life we have two mirrors – one mirror is the external mirror and one mirror is the internal mirror. The external mirror is the mirror that you and I look in front of each and every single day. For the most part you give yourself a thumbs up, you give yourself a thumbs down, it shows you your reflection of how you look. You get up, you walk out the door, it doesn’t show you anything about who you are. The internal mirror is the mirror you stand in front of and it shows you who you are as a person, how you live your life, how you treat others, what your priorities are. That mirror is the truest reflection you’ll ever find of yourself. And sometimes for some of you it is the hardest mirror in the world to look at because you stand there and you just do not like the reflection. Some of you don’t even know who that person is looking back at you. And on top of that some of you go days, weeks, months and years, and never take a stop and a peek and a look at that internal mirror, the second mirror. And then you wonder what happened to my life. So successful people have an image and that image is not just this vanity view of external characteristics and qualities. True success. There’s a deeper image to them of things they possess when they look at themselves in the mirror and they know they exist within them. I strongly encourage all human beings to go in front of a mirror and to just observe. I’m not saying you have to do this without your clothes or anything like that. It has nothing to do with your physical body. I want you to go stand in front of a mirror and make direct eye contact with that reflection looking back at you. It’s a transformative exercise. I’m not just saying go look at yourself. Okay, I did what he asked. Just be with that person. Remember all of us just want someone to be there with us. It’s like a human nature thing so go be there with yourself. You’re going to quickly realize that you might be looking at a stranger. You might realize that it’s been a long time that you haven’t spent some time with yourself. And just be there. Don’t say anything. Don’t judge. Just look into your eyes for as long as you can – 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Notice the sensations you experience by looking at that person. Do you feel a sense of comfort? Do you feel a sense of distance? Do you feel discomfort? Do you feel closeness? For each of you it’s going to be different but that’s where you got to make it right one day. You can’t be successful in life if you’re not right with that reflection. There’s a lot of people that try to become successful without looking at that internal mirror. They just start to glamorize the external mirror, put a little clown suit on with a couple brands on it, do some stuff to their face and to their self, and this and that, and just try to be okay thinking that they’re going to be okay out there. But if you’re not good inside none of that stuff matters. How many successful people do we have to hear that say when they got to the top of whatever it was that they got, they didn’t feel anything? Because they didn’t work on that internal image. So I don’t know, maybe a few of you are going to go try that exercise and come back and say either thank you for that, or screw you for that. That was either very, very good or that was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But hey, if it is hard write down everything you experience and then hopefully you got a therapist or a counselor or something like that go work on that stuff. Or journal, if you don’t want to pay for it. Just go write it out and it’s a good exercise to do. 

Jim says, “I like me today.” You should love you today, Jim. A lot of people love you today. Most people like you today, a lot of people love you today. Maybe there’s a few, or two here or there that don’t because you spoke the truth to them. Isn’t that funny? It’s like I have a few people that don’t like me. It’s okay and the reason why they don’t like me is because I spoke the truth to them. How weird is that? But I guess it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. So maybe I could do a little bit of introspect work and see how come I rub that person the wrong way, when I told them that if they don’t change the way they live their life the life that they hope to have is not going to be true. Thank you Julian! You are also loved by many including myself, and you’ve done some phenomenal work over there.


8. So the next one that we have here is something called character. Here’s the thing. If you want to be successful in life you must develop character. To be a human of high value your character has nothing to do with numbers, dollars, cents, the things you own and possess. You know there’s a Persian poet, his name is Rumi, and he says, “I saw a lot of humans in which they had no clothes and I saw a lot of clothes in which they had no humans.” All that’s saying is like these things that we decorate ourselves with, they don’t bring character. When you strip yourself of all the decorative items that you buy on Amazon for yourself in your life what’s left underneath is your human character, and that is something that is so valuable, that once you’ve developed it, maintained it, fostered it, nurtured it, owned it, no one could ever take away from you. There are no shortcuts to developing your character. I wish I could tell you there are but like I said numerous times before, the longest distance between Point A and Point B in life is a shortcut. Anyone that’s ever taken a shortcut thinking that they’re going to get there sooner, not only has gotten there if they got there way later, but more often than not, they never even get there. They make a U-turn and go right back to where they came from, not knowing that they just put themselves back in the first spot that they started. Oftentimes even a little bit worse. So become a person of high value. The world needs more of them, that’s for sure.

Jessica Myers from the East Coast: “I’m late.” Nope, you’re just in time. So you watch this for the next eight minutes and then you go back and rewind it and watch it from the beginning and you never miss a thing. Hey, just being here late is better than those who wanted to be here but couldn’t make it. Some people, they’re busy on a Saturday. 


9. The next one we got is something called self-discipline. Self discipline first and foremost. Discipline gets a bad rap. Most human beings associate the word discipline with a negative connotation and that’s because when you’re small you do something wrong and you get disciplined. So we just get kind of programmed that it’s a bad thing but self-discipline is an act of love. Self-discipline is something that you do for yourself, for your future, for the world, and here’s all that it means. It means doing what you know you need to do, especially when you don’t want to do it. That’s the X factor right there. Because doing the things you want to do is easy – you don’t need inspiration or motivation. You don’t need a pep talk to do the things you want to do. But the things you don’t want to do in life that you need to do, can you do those things? Can you overcome the tape in your head that says, “oh, I don’t want to do it, it’s too hard, I’m over, it’s too late,” and do it anyways? Self-discipline is not something that you can create one time and have it for the rest of your life. Sometimes it’s a daily commitment to have self-discipline. And if you do it on a day-to-day to-day basis eventually it will become a part of your life, and you will be a human being who has and possesses self-discipline. A person with self-discipline can accomplish and conquer anything in life because it lets you unlock your potential to transform. I’ve yet to meet a successful person, a transformed person who does not possess the ability to have discipline in their life in all areas. Some areas might be more than others but they have a strong relationship with the word self-discipline, and I hope you do too. It’s a beautiful trait. It’s a hard trait. Not everyone can do, it but if you can do it you’re on the path. So self-discipline takes discipline, yeah it really does. 

Look at this student: “I always watch it over to pause for notes.” Good, take as many as you want but here’s the thing. I’ve also been on the record with Miss Jessica saying so. Jessica just said that she takes a lot of notes from these talks and I’m not assuming this about you, I’m just making it a point so there’s something that they have been coined in our society that’s known. Knowledge is power, right? When you’re a kid they’re like “hey, knowledge is power.” No it’s not only applied knowledge is power, like accumulating a bunch of knowledge for the sake of accumulating knowledge doesn’t do anything besides probably satisfy a potential OCD hoarding thing that’s going on internally. I’d rather not accumulate a bunch of knowledge and only apply some of the knowledge I have in life, than to get a bunch of knowledge and not apply any of it at all. So knowledge is powerful once applied. So Jessica, I know that you have a lot in your life applied these things. Continue to take notes, but more importantly apply what the notes are. She wrote this and I want to just give you a shout out here because I feel writing it down helps me retain it. 100%! Writing things down helps because it changes our relationship to what we just heard, because now when you write it down you read it and it’s a different perspective, and sometimes even sharing it so the step after that is, you take what you wrote down, have a conversation with somebody about it, and now say what it is that you first heard, then wrote, and now you say. And then you start to have this own personal relationship with the content and that’s where the magic happens.


10. So the next one and the last one is this thing called extraordinary. Those who are successful in life are oftentimes extraordinary at what they do. A lot of human beings want extraordinary lives on ordinary work ethics. A lot of human beings want to be able to do extraordinary things but they’re not willing to give even a little bit more than ordinary effort. I mean, how does one expect to have an above average life with an average work ethic? It just doesn’t make sense to me. It’s kind of like going in the store and saying, “hey, I want to buy a $1000 thing but I’m only going to give you $100,” and they say, “well, I don’t think that’s going to work out because it’s $1,000 and you have a $100.” And you’re like, “come on, I’m a good person, I’m nice, I’ve been through a lot, I deserve it.” They’re like, “No dude, come back with 1,000 bucks.” So if you want an above average life and you’re only willing to give average effort I’m going to give you a news flash that might have you pop a resentment towards me. It’s not going to happen. Remember, we all have these uphill dreams but we have these downhill habits. And the word extraordinary sometimes could be a little scary to some. Let me just teach you something about this in the last minute that I have. So when you think of things in life that are ordinary what do you think of? Average, okay nothing special, nothing spectacular. But when you think of the word extraordinary what do you think of? Like amazing, fascinating, one-of-a-kind experience. Have you ever stopped to think what is the difference between something that’s ordinary and something that’s extraordinary? All you got to do is go look at the two words ordinary plus the word extra become extraordinary. The only thing that extraordinary people possess is that they’re willing to do a little bit of extra in their lives, a little bit more than what other people are willing to do. So if you want an extraordinary life of an above average life are you willing to do a little extra than what you’re currently doing that’s created the life that you have? If you are I can’t wait to see what that extraordinary life looks like for you. And if you’re not I don’t have to wait to see what your ordinary life looks like for you. Just look at your day, your last week, your last month, your last year, and I would probably suggest and let you know that the next week, the next month, the next year is going to be very similar so you could be the judge of that. None of my business. 

All that being said, today we had a live stream on the topic Success Leaves Clues. We kind of reviewed what are different characteristics and qualities that successful people possess and they leave it on everything that they touch. Now my hope is that some of you who are seeking to find some success in your life, whatever that success looks like for you, can apply some of these with the intention to be able to also achieve some success in your world. Because man, do you deserve it, and I hope that you are willing to put in the work to get it. And if you are, enjoy the destination. It’s a beautiful place to be. So everybody have a wonderful week! Like Katalin said, have an extraordinary weekend! See, look at that word: extra plus ordinary creates extraordinary. It’s just a little bit of extra. But love and appreciate all of you. I’ll see you next week, same time, same place. Have an extraordinary weekend and an extraordinary week. Bye everyone! Allan, what’s up? Go watch it on repeat. Take care, everyone!

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Are you in recovery but not making progress? Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery and improved mental health. Our dedicated team of professionals is here to guide and support you every step of the way.

Today is going to be the best day of your life.

Kelsey Gearhart

Director of Business Development

Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.

Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.

Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.