COVID-19 Update: We are currently accepting new clients with increased safety measures. LEARN MORE ›

The 3 C’s of Change

Each and every single one of you who is reading this right now, I hope that there are areas in your life in which you are trying to change. I’m not saying that you’re bad or something’s wrong or anything like that. Everything could be perfect, which I know it’s not, and there still needs to be or at least I hope there are areas in your life you’re trying to change or improve on. So most people can identify those areas, most people can identify what it is that they need to change. However only a few percent, less than five percent, are actually able to make and sustain those changes in their life, despite the fact that they know they need to make it.

1. C = Courage

I believe that every human being that is trying to change something in their life must demonstrate courage. Why do I say so? Because courage is defined as taking action despite fear. See, when you want to make changes in your life it’s safe to say that oftentimes there is the fear of the unknown, there’s the fear of what’s going to happen, there’s the fear of how it is going to look like. And in order to make the change despite that fear you must take action. There’s a reason why the men and women of the armed forces, military, firefighters, police officers, there’s a reason why so many people tell them “you’re so courageous.” Here’s the reason why. Because it’s a part of their job and their training and their specialty. They have learned to take action despite fear. I’ve talked to many firefighters and cops and first responders and military personnel. There are times that they are feeling the fear but despite that they’re trained to go act anyway. Human beings are the same way. I mean, you might not be a first responder, you might not be in the military, but when you’re trying to make changes in your life there is an overwhelming sensation of fear that happens. You must exhibit courage and take action despite that fear. To anybody that’s in the recovery process, whether it’s firsthand or second hand, whether you’re the individual struggling with addictions or you’re the family member of someone who is struggling with addictions, I want you to know this. That if you’ve started the process you’ve demonstrated courage because for those struggling with addiction a life without drugs and alcohol is scary. A life without using something to self-regulate the emotions is scary. A life without drugs and alcohol, which is a part of their identity, and the things they do and the places they go and the people they hang out with, when you remove that, the void is scary. And if you’ve entered recovery as that person you’ve demonstrated courage. If you’re a family member and your loved one is going through addiction or mental illness and you’ve had countless sleepless nights, if you’ve had financial fear, if you’ve had legal fear, if you’ve had all of the above and now you’re in recovery for yourself despite the fear of what’s going to happen to my loved one, what’s going to happen to our life, how is our life going to change, you have demonstrated courage. So the first element is courage, my friends.

2. C = Commitment

I’m big on this word commitment. I know counselor Jim is too. We talk about it all the time. We had a treatment team meeting yesterday. We were talking about the levels of commitment of different people in the program. And I’ll tell you this – commitment is defined as the following. It’s the willingness and the motivation to continue doing something after the initial excitement has worn off. Any fool in the world can start something but how many people finish what they start, let alone finish it with integrity, and all the way through the accomplishment of their desired goals? Not many. See, the reason why commitment is defined as the motivation and the willingness to continue something after the initial excitement has worn off is because whenever someone starts a task, whether it’s a new diet, or a new job, or a new routine, or a new relationship, it’s easy to be committed at first because you’re so damn excited. Your soul just pumped up and the previous version might have not been good so this is better than that. But then all of a sudden we find this thing called normalcy. We find this thing, like everything gets back to equilibrium, we find this thing of just complacency, and then we’re like okay I’m good now, but have you truly finished your goals and your tasks? 

The best place to see where this muscle of commitment is weak, well two places. One, New Year’s resolution. People say they got to make all these changes in their life and by the fourth or fifth or sixth day of January they’re like, ah I could take a day off. Another place is community colleges where I told you I’m a faculty member with an unassigned class. Because they didn’t have anything to give me is, Community College parking lots. The first week of school, if you’ve never been, at least a California one, I don’t know what it’s like in different states, but in California we have some wonderful community colleges, wonderful, wonderful. If you do well in those colleges you can go to any university in the United States, I promise you that. But there are so many people signed up for school that even if you have a class assigned to you you ain’t gonna find parking. You might have to go park two miles down and shuttle down and walk 40 minutes to get to class. And it’s like wow, all of these people are so committed to their education and then all of a sudden week eight comes around, 50 of those people are no longer there. It’s like hey, how did that happen? How did we go from full capacity to no parking, to the parking lots starting to look empty? Because the commitment muscle in people trying to make changes is weak. By week 12, 25% of that college is there. How sad is that, how sad is that? And that shows what happened. See, the first week they’re excited, I want to go to school, I want to get some education, I want to change my life. Week 8, 10, 12, they’re like maybe next semester. So if you’re trying to make changes in your life and if you don’t have commitment, which is the motivation and the willingness to continue doing something after the initial excitement has worn off, I’m telling you this right now, at 9:27 on August 12th, it’s not going to happen. You’re not going to succeed.

3. C = Compassion

It’s safe to say that those who are trying to make changes in their life have been struggling with what it is that they’re trying to change for a long time. So once you say I have the courage, I have the commitment, you start making your changes. I’m not a betting man but I will tell you this. I will bet whatever I have that at some point across that journey you’re gonna fall short, or you’re not going to get your expectations met, or to use the word we love to use in this group, you’re going to fail. But guess what, you’re going to fail forward, and when you fail forward and you get up you must demonstrate compassion towards yourself, about a human being that’s trying to change something in their life that they’ve so desperately wanted to change for a long time. And just being on the right track and having compassion towards yourself will allow you to get there. See, there is a place that we are in life, in a place that we want to be in life. In that gap is what I call the vision gap – it’s where you are to where you want to be. In that gap also exists something called the compassion gap. When you fall short compassion is the only bridge that allows you to get back up and keep moving again. So courage, commitment, compassion that’s your C now.

Call Buckeye Recovery Today!

Are you in recovery but not making progress? Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery and improved mental health. Our dedicated team of professionals is here to guide and support you every step of the way.

Today is going to be the best day of your life.

Kelsey Gearhart

Director of Business Development

Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.

Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.

Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.