These pillars of success we talk about come from a book by Jim Rohn. In Part 1 we discuss the first 3 pillars that lay the foundation for success in life.
Success in life can be traced back to simple steps. An example I always use is like when you watch a CSI show that there’s a murder that happens in the beginning of the show and then at the end of the show they pretty much solve it. Well, if you think about it, how do they do it, well there are some markers. There’s things like fingerprints, there’s things like DNA, there’s things like motives and suspects, and there’s things like places and situations and footage, and by putting all that stuff together and reverse engineering back they can kind of get to where it all happened. Well it happens with crimes but I’m telling you this success is the same way. When something or someone is successful you can retrace the steps back and find out what are the shared elements, what are the fingerprints that those successful people leave behind, and those can all be found in the pillars of success.
1. Personal Development
Personal Development is the first pillar of success, and the question to ask is: Is this the only way your life will get better, is if you get better? See, it doesn’t say that if your circumstances get better, if your situations get better, if the people around you get better, if the world around you gets better, that’s when you’re going to get better. That’s false, that’s an illusion, that’s actually a delusion of thought – there is no truth or realness to that. The only time you are going to get better in life is when you get better. No one’s life has ever gotten better just by chance or just by luck. You might have little moments when you’re like, “Oh I’m on the right path,” and then it slaps you in the face again.
So if you want your life to get better my friends stop sitting back and waiting for the world to change, and for the world to to all of a sudden transform, and start taking the steps to invest in yourself. Develop your skills, develop who you are, develop how you live and allow that person to create a better world, a better life, a better experience for himself or herself. That’s the essence of personal development.
You are the most important person in your life. And if you’re waiting for your loved one to get better so you can get better, I’m telling you, it doesn’t work like that. I’ve seen many family members have their loved ones heal and get better but they’re still left feeling just destroyed and damaged and hurt, and can’t even know which way is up. If anything, when the loved one gets better they lose their identity because their whole life has been about fixing the situation and fixing their loved ones and helping their loved ones. And when they no longer need or want their help or fixing, they’re like, “I don’t know what to do. I’m not needed anymore in life.”
2. Total Well-being
What does total well-being mean? Our total well-being is three-dimensional:
- Dimension one is your body.
- Dimension two is your mind, and
- Dimension three is your spirit.
Every day upon awakening or throughout the day you must do one thing at the minimum for each of those dimensions.
Do you do something for your body? And I’m not talking about something excessive and extreme. I’m not saying you got to go sign up for a bootcamp class or a high-intensity interval training class and you don’t have to go get a $200 gym membership at the place that smells like essential oils. No, you don’t. Do you walk around the block, go up and down some stairs, do you move your body once a day? The answer is yes or no.
The second one is, do you do something for your mind every day? Do you watch something, do you read something, do you hear something that elevates your mind, that elevates your thinking, that takes you to a higher vibration? Or do you not?
And do you do something for your spirit every day, do you help out another human being, do you see someone struggling and walk up to them to see how you can make their day a little bit better? Do you close your eyes and pray sometimes or meditate on the things in your life that you have and sometimes even meditate on the things you don’t have? If the answer is yes to the mind, the body and the spirit every single day, you are on the path of success. If the answer is no, you’re on the path of disaster. The choice is yours my friends.
3. Gift of Relationships
For some people in the mental health world, the addiction world, the trauma world, relationships not only were not a gift, they were a curse. There are so many of our program participants and so many people that have sat in chairs across from me that have shared with me horrific stories of relationships and upbringing and family dynamics and my heart goes out to them. Their birth family, their birth environment was not advantageous or favorable, however when we start the healing, recovery and transformation process the beauty is that we begin to create our friendships of choice, our families of choice. It would be beautiful if our birth relationships and our choice relationships could be the same. That’s awesome, that’s as good as it gets, but if you come from a highly dysfunctional, highly chaotic, highly toxic upbringing and as an adult you’re like, “I just can’t have these people around me anymore,” I want to give you permission to create your own family of choice. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you have to significantly decrease the amount of time and exposure you have to certain people feel free to, because if by not doing so they’re going to drain your vitality, they’re going to trigger you, potentially lead you to some type of a behavioral or mental health or substance relapse, then why not just kind of keep at arm’s distance from them while you invest on yourself? And then make a decision once you feel like you’ve healed.
Gifts of relationships are important and remember this. Relationships are like gardens. You must tend to them the same way gardens and nature and plants need certain things to be able to thrive, certain things to be able to reach their purest form, manifest to their purest version of themselves, like water and soil and air and nutrients and sunlight. Well, so do relationships – they need patience, they need love, they need communication, they need empathy, they need compassion, and it’s not like they need it once. They need it continuously throughout the year, and if you invest, if you tend to the garden of your relationships you can create some beautiful relationships. Because we all need them. We all know that none of us get from where we are in life to where we want to go without the help of other human beings. Those relationships are the reasons why we go from where we are to where we want to be. They are the catalysts of our transformation.