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The Next 3 Steps of Personal Development: Everyday, Lifestyle, Overcoming Negative Beliefs

The D in DEVELOPMENT is Decide, the E is Expectations, and the V is Values. To learn more about the first 3 keys to Personal Development, read this post.


In this post we talk about the next 3 steps in DEVELOPMENT. 


Why do things EVERYDAY?

Because that’s the only way it becomes something tangible and it becomes something real and it becomes a part of your identity. Three days on, four days off, five days on, two days off, it doesn’t do anything but create an inconsistent experience in life. 


  • Are you willing to do something everyday for your personal development? 
  • Are you willing to go on a walk, read a book, talk to someone that levels you up? 
  • Are you willing to take care of your mind, body, spirit? 
  • Are you willing to help others everyday? 


If the answer is yes, your life’s going to get real good, real fast. 

If the answer is no, my question is, “Why?” If the answer is no, my question is, “When?” 

Simple as that. 


When are you going to start doing something everyday for your life? Sometimes parents say to me, “Yeah, my kid’s not doing X Y and Z, they’re not doing this and that,” and my question is, “Oh that’s cool, what are you doing everyday?” and they’re like, “No no no, I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about my kid, I’m okay.” I’m like, “I know you’re okay but do you have the life that you want? Are you the version of yourself that one day when you were a child you thought of becoming? If the answer is no, then what’s the difference between you and your kid? What’s the difference between you and your spouse? Just because they have a raging alcohol and drug problem they have to do something that you don’t? Remove the drugs and alcohol. All human beings must take steps for personal development.” Sometimes people say, “Why can’t I just be myself?” That’s okay, I just know that oftentimes people that think they just want to be themselves have resigned on the idea that they can be something different. They resigned on the idea that at some point in their life they had dreams, hopes, aspirations, goals for themselves and as soon as life hit him in the face, as soon as they experience some trauma, as soon as they experience some pain, they just said, “You know what, I’m just going to settle. I’m just going to settle.” I’m okay with it but they’re not peaceful, they’re struggling inside. So make sure you’re doing something everyday.


A New LIFESTYLE will cost you your old life

So in the acronym for DEVELOPMENT, the L is lifestyle. Here’s what I think it means. If you want to grow and develop in life you have to remember the following. That your new life is going to cost you your old life. Are you willing to pay that price? Some people are and some people aren’t. Some people want to hold on to certain aspects and elements of their old life. They hold on, wondering why they don’t embrace or experience a new way of life or experience. You can’t have it both ways. 


If you want to grow and develop in your life you have to look at the areas in your life that you have to let go of that don’t serve you, that don’t help you get to your destination, that are holding you from your progress. And you got to become willing to let them go. And sometimes that means people. There might be people in your life that you might need to let go of. And some of you might say, “Well, that person is my family member, that person’s my this.” That’s cool. I’m not saying end your relationship. I’m just saying let go of the type of relationship you have with them. Some people say, “Every time I talk to this person and when I’m with them for like five or six hours, or I’m with them for a day, it just drains me. It’s too much to handle. They suck my soul out. They’re manipulative.” Well, hey, how about instead of five or six hours, you go kick it with them for an hour? Protect yourself, change the way you view the world, change the way you view others. Let go of certain aspects of your life that don’t serve you. 


Sometimes people know that their old life sucks but they still don’t want to let go of it. They know that they’re not happy, joyous and free and they still choose a life of misery. They get moments of glimpses of, “Wow, there’s so much contrast to this new life versus the old life. If only I continue on this path for a little longer, maybe I’ll get to another destination. But life slaps them in the face and guess what they do? Revert back to the old lifestyle. They settle for the status quo. They settle for their comfort zone. They settle for a life without progress. 


OVERCOME your Negative Beliefs

If you are trying to grow in life, if you are trying to take steps in your personal development in life, you must identify your negative beliefs and then you must overcome them. Here’s a good question to ask anybody in life. 


Who were you before the world told you who you ought to be, who you need to be, who you should be, who you shouldn’t be? 


Before the world stripped you of your authenticity, before the world stripped you of your uniqueness? Who were you when you started to believe things like, I am not smart enough, I’m not good enough, I’m not tough enough, I’m not blank enough, I’m not tall enough, I’m not skinny enough, I’m not buff enough, I’m not rich enough. Who were you before all these negative limiting beliefs started to penetrate your mind and penetrate your soul and your heart? 


How do we overcome our negative beliefs, is by massive action by contrary action. By doing what it is that we think we can’t do, doing it with commitment and consistency and repetition over and over and over again until you do it. And how long do you do it? Until it’s done. Here’s a fair question – how long does a mom give their infant child or their young child time to walk? Until he or she walks. It’s not like, “Oh, you got six months and if you don’t walk by then, it’s over.” Different Strokes for different folks. It takes different times for different people. 


How long do you go on this path of personal development to accomplish your goals and dreams? Well, until you do and when you do a very profound and powerful thing happens. You get split into two and there’s a different version of you. Are you the person that can’t or the person that just did and now you have a binary choice. Black or white. One or two. Yes or no. Which one are you? And the moment you choose the new version of you the old you can die. You shed that skin. You free yourself. The caterpillar, the butterfly, the cocoon, the transformation, you know the story. 


1% is a significant, significant number. And someone might say, “Dude, what are you talking about? 1% is nothing. It’s like one out of a 100 is 1%” Well, if you don’t think that 1% matters, 1° matters, let’s just look at physics. Let’s look at nature, water, the life source. What makes the world live? Oxygen and water, right? What makes the world live? At 211° Fahrenheit water is water. At 212° Fahrenheit water changes form and turns into steam. On the flip side at 33° Fahrenheit water is water. At 32° Fahrenheit water changes its form and turns into ice. See, 1% can change our form. So 1% better can change your 1% better, it can change your life, if you subscribe to the importance of just getting 1% better in each and every single thing we do. 


Too often we have no idea who we were. The tapes were implanted so young. Sometimes it’s like the people planting us love us. That’s the weird part you know. It’s people that care about us and they just want the best for us, you know. It’s kind of like that hypercritical parent that really wants their kid to be good at school and their intention is because if they’re good at school they have a chance to go to college and get a good job and just be a good member of society, but they’re so critical and so intense that when the kid gets a B they tell them, “Hey, like what happened there? What’s wrong with you?” You don’t even have to work. All you have to do is study. Why can’t you just get an A?” And that kid doesn’t internalize it that way. They think, “My mom or dad doesn’t love me and I’m stupid,” or “I’m not good enough.” So the intention was really pure by the mom to be like, “Hey, let’s do well in school,” but when the kid struggled and failed for whatever reasons the kid doesn’t think, “Oh it’s because my mom had best intentions.” “I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough.” And that kid’s screwed, because everything he’s gonna do in life he’s never going to be good enough. So we unintentionally can do damage to people we love and then of course there’s the intentional stuff. People genuinely put some tapes in their head that it’s really painful. Kids that get bullied all the time, man their self-esteem, their self-worth, really tough to overcome. People that experience trauma and the tape of what they’re worth, oh so hard to overcome. So we got to eventually overcome all these negative beliefs because they’re not us. They’re just thoughts. 


Read Next: Planning and Mindset, the 2 Fundamentals of Personal Development


Kelsey Gearhart

Director of Business Development

Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.

Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.

Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.