There are a lot of people in life, especially in recovery, that have a hard time with consistency. They’re good at doing things once or twice or 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, if you’re lucky but then they fall off. So I want to be able to talk about and teach about what are some keys that you can Implement in your life that will help you become more consistent. And the main catalyst to that is to have the constant quest for growth.
Here are the top 4 Keys for Consistent Growth.
1. Growth is not an Automatic Process
Just because you start something and the calendar days go by and the pages go from one week to one month to two months to three months just because you’ve started it and some time has gone by that does not mean that you automatically will grow as a byproduct of that. There are people that do something for 90 days and after 90 days they’re exactly the same person 90 days removed, that’s it. So how do we know if we are actually growing in the process of the things that we start? It’s actually quite simple.
You are on the road to success if it feels like it’s uphill all the way, yes all the way.
Now don’t get me wrong. There might be times in your climb that you have to rest and you have to look at the view and look at the perspective and say, “Wow, look how far I’ve come,” but if you want to succeed it’s going to be uphill all the way. I’ve said this before and trust me, I’ll say it again. A lot of people have uphill dreams but they have downhill habits. A lot of people want to get to the top of the mountain but instead of climbing they coast. Last I checked nobody’s ever coasted their way to the top of the mountain – you must climb. So if you’re on the path and the road of success feels like it’s uphill all the time, and when you get psychologically, emotionally, physically burned out you don’t just jump back down. You go on a resting stop.
Have you ever seen people climb Mount Everest uphill the whole time? They’re stopping and resting and sleeping and going to the bathroom and eating and just kind of cruise controlling but they ain’t ever cruising their way to the top of that mountain. So if you look at your life and say, “I’m just kind of coasting,” just know you ain’t coasting anywhere good. So if you want to grow you have to set time aside for it – it’s not automatic.
Left to our everyday devices we have evolved into something completely unnatural to us. Human beings have evolved into this thing called human doings. Most of us identify with the things we do, not with who we are, and because we do and do and do and do, sometimes out of necessity and survival, and sometimes out of programming and conditioning, we forget that sometimes you have to pause. You got to sit, you got to reflect and look at the human being that’s doing all that doing, and set a time for growth. Set aside some time for growth. We owe it to ourselves.
2. Growth is the Great Separator amongst Those who Succeed and Those who do Not
For example, if two people go on a path at the very same time, let’s say two people go on a path of recovery. 90 days later, six months later one of them might be making significant progress in growth when it comes to their health, their family dynamics and relationships, potentially their ability to obtain and maintain employment. And another person who came in at the same time has the same amount of time away from substances, but after 90 days or six months, they do not have any type of progress in those areas. Growth is the separator between those who succeed and those who do not.
The capacity to develop and improve skills distinguishes leaders and followers.
So if you’re trying to become a leader whether it’s a thought leader, whether it’s a leader in your industry, whether it’s a leader in your recovery community, whether it’s a leader amongst a house of individuals who are trying to get their life better in a structured home, whether you’re just trying to become something more than the previous version of yourself, if you don’t actually grow you’re never going to separate yourself from other people. If somebody played one hour of piano everyday and somebody played one hour of piano three times a week, and on week one it’s not that much difference, yeah one person had four more hours. In four weeks still not that much of a difference, yeah that guy practiced 16 hours more than the other person right? In 52 weeks one person practiced 200 hours more than the other person. In 10 years, one person played 2,000 hours more than the other person. The separation becomes astronomical. So what you do consistently every day will increase the growth gap and just imagine applying that to all areas of your life, my friends.
3. Growth takes Time but the Passing of Time does not equal Growth
Experience doesn’t mean anything. And you might be saying, “Whoa man, what do you mean experience doesn’t mean anything? I’m an experienced person. I’ve been through a lot, I’ve seen a lot, I’ve heard it all. How does my experience not have any value?” Because how many people go through an experience and then repeat that experience again and again and again and again? You see, if experience alone meant anything, that means we won’t have to go through the vicious cycle over and over again.
So how does experience become important? When it is reflected upon. Reflected experience is the most valuable asset you can have. It’ll increase your insight into your own self, your own behavior, your own processes with the intention of creating a different outcome. If you do not reflect upon your experience your experience is worthless. If you are someone who’s going through addiction, recovery, mental illness, if you go through an experience that leads you to be emotionally triggered, to be dysregulated, and you end up using substances as a result of it, that experience you went through is meaningless unless you find out why, how, when, where. Reflect on it so therefore the next time you get sober again you use all of that reflected experience to prevent, and hopefully change, the outcome. Because if you don’t it will happen again, just like everything else in life.
Reflective thinking turns experience into insight.
Insight is a really powerful thing, and I always like to say that some people say, “hey man, I can’t stop thinking. I think all the time.” Reflection and thinking are two different things. When we think and overthink and worry it is almost always future-based things we have no control over, outcomes that we have no control over, situations that we have no control over. We spin out, we spiral out of control. We ruminate on it, it becomes incessive, and sometimes we even start to get physically sick from all the worry. Reflection is past-based – it’s on things that have already happened. You reflect back on it and do reflective thinking. You gather information, you use that information, you apply it to the future with the intention of changing your outcome.
4. The More we Grow the More we Know we Need to Grow
When we’re thinking about the future, the illiterate of the future is not the person that can’t read and write for the most part. At least if you’re watching this and you’re engaged in some type of life I have a good feeling that you can read and write at some level, that’s not it. The illiterate of the future is someone who can’t learn something in life but then says, “Hey, I really got to unlearn this because it comes from a really bad place. It comes from dysfunction and then once you unlearn it you have to relearn the proper one.
The illiterate of the future is not someone who can’t read or write but it is someone who can’t learn, unlearn and then relearn.
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