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Understanding Problems and How to Solve Them

Alright, what is up? Alright, okay, welcome back to another family education and support group here on Buckeye Recovery Network with your host Parham. I’m really grateful for another opportunity to be here with you this Saturday morning, at least here in California, maybe in the afternoon if you’re watching this somewhere else. But my intention is that you gain some information, some insight and that I can add some value to your journey of healing, recovery and transformation. So while people start to trickle in, let me just tell you a few things about myself, who I am, what we do here, and then we’ll get right into the talk. It’s a talk I haven’t done since the end of 2020 or maybe the beginning of 2021 so it’s been a long time. It’s a wonderful talk – it really helps us gain a deep understanding of something that a lot of people struggle with.


So my name is Parham. We do this almost every Saturday. I didn’t do it last week but for the most part I did my averages and it looks like we are around 42 out of the 52 Saturdays of the year so that’s pretty freaking good. I do have a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, so when you hear me talk on some terms that potentially are clinical, when we’re talking about for example today, how to solve life’s problems and when it comes to mental health, addiction, all that kind of stuff, I do have the premise to stand on it. Let’s see, I’m a licensed Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor, so addiction treatment is my specialty and mental health, kind of the co-occurring and challenges that occur as a result of that. I’m a high school basketball coach. Our season starts in one month and four days – the reason I know that date specifically is because from that day my life becomes chaotic. 30 basketball games in three months, oh my goodness, all the practices, it’s so time consuming, but guess what? I love it! What’s up, everyone? Everyone’s saying Hi, thank you so much! I just saw all the comments. If you’re watching this for the first time just know this is interactive – if you say a comment or say what’s up like Eileen did, like JD did, like Debbie did, like Kenny and the crew at Pacific Sands, Katalin, Hussein. By the way, this is people from all over we got – from the bay to Florida to Miami to Vegas, there we go – Marilyn! Ready for some wisdom? I’ll try! And of course, Mom and Dad – can’t forget Mom and Dad! So if you have any questions, you can always post them in this thing and I’ll do my best to respond. 


With all that being said, what is this channel and what’s the intention of it? So these talks are for anyone who, firsthand or secondhand, has experienced any type of pain as a result of addictions, mental illness, trauma and grief and loss, so if you fall into that then this is for you. And we got one more saying what’s up over there from YouTube. Mr Scotty! So let’s get into it. 


Today we’re going to talk about something that all human beings regardless of race, culture, background, socioeconomic status, experience in their life, and that is this thing called problems. There’s a song that says ‘More Money, More Problems,’ but I think you can just have more problems in life and so that means we all experience it. So it’s not just a unique thing that you’re experiencing, okay? There are three kinds of people in society – one, people who see the problem and say “I don’t care,” right? They see the problem, they say “I don’t care.” Two, people who see the problem, say they care but because they didn’t cause it, they’re not going to assume any type of responsibility to fix it. So at least they’re one level higher – at least they’re able to see the problem. But number three, which is the version of life that I hope all of us can one day become, are those who see problems in life, whether their own or others, and even though they didn’t personally create them, are willing to take responsibility to find a solution for them. So the example that I like to give here is, if I walk outside my apartment and go down the hallway and I see there’s a Snickers wrapper on the ground and I look at it and say “what kind of an idiot just throws a wrapper on the ground?” and I walk by and I’m like, “so dumb, this apartment’s all nice and someone just throws trash on the ground.” I walk away, go to work, go play Pickleball, go to basketball, do something, come back and then I see those Snickers wrappers there again, I’m like, “damn, the cleaning crew’s been here all day – not one person picked this wrapper up! They’re not even doing their jobs! What are they even doing?” and I go in the house, sleep, next morning I get up and I’m getting ready to go to work and I see the Snickers wrapper there again. I walk by, I’m like, “man, nobody even cares anymore,” and as soon as I walk three or four steps past that Snickers wrapper I turned around, I grabbed that Snickers wrapper, take it to the trash can, and throw it away. Now I know it’s not the most insane act of courage right there but I’ll tell you this. We see problems in life – if we think that we didn’t cause them, that we don’t have to find a solution for them, that’s a faulty way of thinking. I know I’m just talking about a freaking wrapper but there are other areas in life that we can become a part of the solution right? So it’s kind of like a really important thing, just a theoretical framework of what I’m talking about here. 


So now let’s get into seven observations about problems. 


  1. So the first observation about problems is this: problems are everywhere. Everyone has them. So if you’re thinking to yourself, “well, my life is worse than that person’s life, or I’m going through way more than other people have,” that’s because you’re only looking at your life from a very micro lens of what you’re experiencing right now. Because if you zoom out anyone’s life, yes I said anyone’s life, on a longer timeline, you zoom it out and zoom it out and zoom it out and all of a sudden you start to see something very similar. All the people who you think go through life without problems have had challenges to overcome numerous times in their lives. So problems are not something unique to those going through the addiction or mental illness process, or the grief and loss process, or the trauma process. Because all human beings go through this thing called life and life has its share of problems. So knowing that it’s something that we all experience, the only thing we can do is find a new relationship with the word Problem. And that’s what we’re going to do here today – we’re going to change the context and the way we view problems in life and ultimately that’s going to have some freedom in it.


  1. So the next one says problems don’t disappear if they are ignored. Ooh, that old strategy of just sweeping it under the rug. Does that work for you? Man it don’t work for nobody. The people that just don’t respond to emails, they don’t open up their mail, they don’t make the phone calls, they just avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid, because they don’t want to face reality or face their fears or face their problems, how does that work for you? And I’m not like talking down or anything like that. I’m just curious. It’s a question. If that’s what you tend to do with your life, you avoid them hoping that they go away, it’s okay to have a conversation about it, right? How’s that working for you? Did the problems you had back in the day, are they all gone now because you avoided them? Man, the only way we can get rid of problems is by facing dead on. Remember this: the avoidance of pain produces more pain. The cure for the pain is in the pain.


  1. So the next one says – oh I love this one – we tend to lose a correct perspective of problems when they are our own. So say that again – we as human beings tend to lose a correct perspective of problems when they are our own. So what does that mean? Your problem – minor problem, my problem – major problem. And that’s kind of what we go through life with the wrong perspective. We over exaggerate and over dramatize and overshoot how big and overwhelming and intense our problems are. When we think other people’s problems aren’t as bad we minimize theirs. Your problem – small, my problem – big. And don’t get me wrong, I know you hopefully – if you’ve been watching this channel that I’m pretty rooted in this thing called compassion – so I’m not sitting here just kind of bashing away, I just want you to know that. Yes, some of you are going through some serious problems right now straight up. Some of you might have aging parents that are just really going through the wringers of the last stages of life. Some of you have younger teenagers or young adults or adult children that are going through struggles right now and their actual problems. They’re causing financial, physical, psychological, emotional disruption and pain in your life but again it’s a limited lens on a micro timeline. You go back and look at the entirety of it all you’ll realize that these problems don’t come in this significance all the time. And for those of you who have always experienced problems in your life, no matter what age you are, where you were, what you were doing, who you were with, where you were living, I’m not going to tell you that you are the problem, because that’s insensitive to say. But I will say that if you’ve experienced it in all stages of your life, and I know especially the ones when we’re young they weren’t your fault, because you probably came into some dysfunction, but if you never healed from that dysfunction, and never healed from that trauma, and now you just perpetuate the cycle of chaos and problems in dysfunction, in your own life, at some point you gotta give some thought into the fact that you’re the common denominator of all those errors, in all those places, and all those people, and all those things. So again, not saying it’s your fault, but I’m saying we kind of got to take some responsibility to look at that . Why do I keep experiencing problems in every area of my life? It’s a very very poignant question. By the way if you have any questions about what I’m saying or any feedback or any insight just write it in the box and I’ll put it up for you guys.


  1. So the next one that we have here is, our perspective of the problem and not the problem itself determines our success or failure. Okay, so I kind of made two columns here: one column is the right perspective and one column is the wrong perspective when it comes to our problems. Okay, the right perspective is problems are solvable, and the wrong perspective is problems are unsolvable. I want you to know that all problems in life do have solutions. Sometimes people say, “well there’s nothing I can do about it,” or “it just is the way it is,” or “that’s just the way that I got it, like deal with it.” That’s a wrong perspective – you want to know why? I do believe that all problems have solutions but what happens is sometimes we don’t like that solution. It takes too much time, it’s too hard, I don’t think I can do it. See, that’s not saying there’s no solution. That’s saying you don’t accept the solution necessary to solve the problem. So there’s only two perspectives when it comes to a problem it’s solvable or it’s not solvable – you choose. If you say this problem cannot be solved you will never solve that problem. If you say this problem can be solved you must accept the timeline, the sacrifice, the conversation, the confrontation, of all the things leading to it. That choice is yours – wrong perspective, right perspective – problems are temporary. Wrong perspective – problems are permanent. Nothing in life is permanent, okay, everything in life is temporary. Life itself is temporary so why think that the problems are going to be permanent, right? And whenever we get emotionally triggered we lose sight of all this stuff – we just think it’s happening to us forever. No, it’s not, no it’s not. Problems are temporary. How we navigate through them dictates if they’re going to be a part of our future or not. The same problem, at least so the right perspective is, problems make us better. The wrong perspective is, problems make us bitter. Some people embrace problems to say this is an opportunity for growth. I’m glad this went wrong because now I can see first and foremost what I did to cause it, second of all, what could have been different about the way the environment was, or how I was engaging with it, that could have made it significantly less. And third of all, what the hell can I do to prevent this from happening again? Now some people, when the problem comes, they just get bitter. They’re like, “everything’s always messed up, it’s always wrong, I can’t do anything right, no one does anything right,” and you think in that mind frame and that characteristic trait, you think it just is isolated to that single problem. If problems make you bitter they make you bitter in every area of your life, they make you bitter in your personal relationships, because guess what? The problems, they make you bitter at work because guess what? There’s going to be problems. They make you bitter during the holidays, because guess what? They’re gonna be problems. They’re gonna Make You bitter with your kids because guess what? There’s going to be problems. So either problems make you better or they make you bitter – choice is yours, my friends. I love giving choices to people because I’m not really emotionally connected to which one you choose, it’s kind of cool.


  1. The next one says, problems challenge us versus problems control us. Some people allow the problems in their life to control their mind, their body, their spirit and their soul – that’s a choice because the same problem can challenge you to become the best version of yourself that you can possibly be. Do you let your problems challenge you or they let you control you and if you let it control you, you gotta ask yourself why, and not just why, for how long have I allowed this to happen? And more importantly, for how long will I allow this to continue? I say not a minute more. So let the problems in your life challenge you, not control you. You’re all going through problems listening to this right now. I know you are. Don’t let it control and consume you. Let it challenge you to help you become the best version of yourself because that’s the only version that’s going to be able to solve some problems anyways.


  1. Alright, the next one we have here is, problems stretch us versus problems stop us. We must stretch mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, socially in order to become so resourceful that we can solve problems in our lives. You gotta stretch, you gotta get creative, you got to come up with different options and solutions and strategies but when you let problems stop you in your tracks and you just get crippled or paralyzed, mental paralysis and you can’t think, you can’t move, you can’t act, you can’t do anything, it’s a perspective thing. Do you allow it? Do you allow it to do that to you? And again, for how long have you been doing that, and for how long will you continue it? So that was a whole little rant on the right versus wrong perspective towards problems. Now this one’s really cool – I think every one of you will take something from this one. So if you’ve done enough talks with me I like to mess with the Latin root origins and I like to kind of break some words down and see if we can find a deeper meaning to it. Well, I found a really good one for you. The word Problem comes from the Greek word Proballein, and what it means is to drive forward. Problem comes from the Latin root proballein, the Greek word proballein, and the meaning of it is to drive forward. So a problem all of a sudden goes from being something negative to a catalyst for growth. How cool is that? So when we think about the word Problem, I’m going to say that again, because I really want to capture the essence of how powerful this is. Our first association, a problem is usually something negative. When there’s a problem in life it’s usually a negative connotation, a negative association, but the word Problem comes from the Greek word proballein, which means to move forward. So not only does it mean that a problem is not a negative connotation, a problem is a catalyst for growth and advancement, in moving forward. So embrace the problems in your life, seek the opportunities and the gifts that exist within those problems, and drive yourself forward as a result of it. That’s a pretty cool thing. Addict Athlete recommended a book – I know for sure these guys are legit, I like these guys a lot, so I don’t know what the Dog Poop Initiative is – you might have to give a little context about that guys, but I’m assuming it’s probably a good book if you guys are recommending it. 


So what do we have here? The size of the person is more important than the size of the problem. And we’re not talking about physical size, right? We’re not talking about how small or how big you are – now that stuff’s irrelevant in this channel. The size of the person is more important than the size of the problem. Obstacles will appear large or small, whether you are large or small. You can easily determine the caliber of a person by how much opposition it takes to discourage them. You can easily judge the caliber of a person by how much opposition it takes to discourage them. So how much resistance can you take until you say, “ah, I’m just gonna give up?” And the size of the person is more important than the size of the problem. I want you all to hear this right now. So I’m going to say some truths to the people I know that watch this live stream. You are all really big people and again I’m not talking about your size – how small or big you are – none of that stuff. The reason I say you’re a big person is because you have endured, you have overcome, you have gone through so many freaking obstacles and challenges in your life, that it has allowed you to grow, it allowed you to get stronger mentally, and emotionally. So when a problem comes to your world and comes into your atmosphere you don’t break, you won’t fold, you won’t back down as a result of how big you are, as a result of your life. And in the moment that you feel weak, and in the moment that you feel you can’t do it, and the moment that you feel “I don’t have it in me anymore,” just remember how many of these you’ve had to overcome. And you’re still here, you’re still listening, you’re still watching, you’re still overcoming, you’re still persevering. Don’t listen to that voice inside of your head when it tells you you can’t look at your own history. Find out what you’ve already done, what you have accomplished, what you are accomplishing right now. Most importantly, what you will accomplish in your life. The head tells us some weird things but the past shows you the truth of what you’ve endured and what you’ve overcome to become the person you are watching this right now. And if that gives you any hope and faith of what you’re capable of handling in the future my work is done.


Hossein Jaan says, “I call it a challenge not a problem. Every challenge in life is a door into opportunities. And success that’s a perspective thing.” It’s a wonderful perspective – there are people that look at the word challenge in a negative connotation – they’re like, “oh challenge means it’s hard, I don’t like to be challenged.” How many people have told me that? Many people but I’m glad that you look at it as a door into opportunities and success. Challenge is definitely changes for the better.


  1. Number seven: When you make small plans expect small problems when you make big plans expect big problems. The size of your problems will likely be congruent with the size of your plans. So most people have a negative connotation to the word problem, and they also don’t really do a good job setting goals, casting visions for dreams. And I’m telling you this my friends, the bigger the goals, the bigger the dream, the bigger the vision that you cast for yourself and your family and your future, it’s gonna come with bigger problems. You can’t have an extraordinary vision in goals, like dreams for yourself, thinking that there’s going to be no problems involved. The bigger the dream, the bigger the problem. The bigger the goals, the bigger the problem. The greater you cast that vision for your future, the bigger the problems that will exist until you develop all that. So the size of your problems is congruent to the size of your dreams, and that’s okay, because that means it’s the same for everyone. It’s universal – it’s not just happening to you. So dream big. Like I always say, head in the clouds. Dream big but please make sure that your feet are on the ground. Feet on the ground, head in the clouds. And anticipate problems. But again after hearing this talk when you anticipate problems you’re not going to brace yourself for something scary. You’re going to say, “Bring It on, give me the problem, let me resolve it, and as a result of it I will drive forward.” So that’s a really powerful way to look at it.


What did Eileen say? When I am deep into the problem I find that I can step outside myself and view back as an observer, I can more easily find the solution. Wonderfully said! This is why – so see, she’s done a little bit of work on herself. I’m not going to obviously get into the whole what she’s done or what types of workshops or seminars and that kind of stuff she’s gone through, but she’s done some good work on herself. When she’s experiencing a problem she’s able to step out of herself and observe it and watch it in almost like a more objective way. Now I wish I could say everyone can do that but until you have a mastery or an understanding of your emotions it’s very hard to step out. It’s very hard to zoom out of self when we’re emotionally triggered and then to observe. Can it be done? Absolutely! There’s an example right there. I know I could do it too – there’s a lot of people that are able to step out of their emotions, step out of the problem, to view it as an observer, to find solutions. A lot of times people do this in their places of work by the way, because we’re not emotionally invested, but if you are unable to navigate a problem gracefully like that, like Eileen talks about, because it’s a hard thing to do. If you’re not able to do it that’s where and why a third party objective counselor, therapist, coach is very effective, because when you bring a problem to me that is just overwhelming and taking over your life in your mind and your body, guess what? I don’t have the same emotions towards it so I can actually look at it from an objective point of view, void of personal emotions, and that’s where I can have some solution, that’s where we can collaborate and find some ways to solve the problem. So if you can’t do it on your own, you break it down with someone else that will be able to do it. And if you can’t step out of yourself by the way another very powerful thing to do is just write about it – write about the problem. So the more you write about the problem and then when you read what you wrote you actually separate yourself from the problem. You’re able to view your problem a little bit differently. It also shaves off or takes off some of the emotional charge. 


Good morning, Dorothy, what’s up, Jersey Shore? We got another East Coast one in the house! Always a pleasure, thank you for all the years of support, Dorothy! Katalin, I like to break down a problem into steps so it’s not overwhelming at once. Also plan with timelines and tasks that hold myself accountable for. You could tell Katalin is an operations person. I’m an operations person too. If we could only do the things we do at work when it comes to our personal emotions we’d all be in a much better place. But again something that she’s saying here is very doable. It might be difficult for people that are emotionally triggered to be able to break down a problem into step by step, but that’s the best way to go. I’ve yet to meet one person that’s eating the whole pizza in one bite – you break it down, have a little slice, have a little slice, have a little slice, you’re a quarter in, then you go halfway in, another three-fourths in, the whole pizza is done. Probably got a really bad stomach ache at that point but you were able to devour an entire pie by going little by little. Problems are the same way – micro incremental steps. But thank you for that – I agree wholeheartedly – that’s what I do myself.


So now we get into the problem solving of it. I talked about the problem. Let’s talk about solving it.


  1. So number one, you must rule your emotions. If you’re new you’re gonna have a hard time doing this, if you come from dysfunction, childhood dysfunction, abandonment, loss, you’re gonna have a hard time doing this. If you’re going through a situational crises right now that someone in your life is really taking some actions that are scaring the heck out of you and you can’t sleep at night, maybe there’s untreated substance abuse, maybe there’s untreated mental illness, maybe you just experienced some type of a grief and loss or trauma currently, it’s very hard to rule our emotions. And there’s a statistic here that’s very powerful. It says, people with emotional problems are 144% more likely to have an automobile accident than those who do not. 144% and this is probably the most staggering statistic I found. One out of every five victims of fatal accidents had a fight with someone within six hours before the accident. Now I’m gonna talk about a fist fight, it could be like an argument on the phone, text messages, something at work, a blow up, six hours before a fatal car accident. One out of every five victims experience that, so if you’re thinking that your inability to regulate your emotions is just yours it’s your problem, there is a very powerful profound statistic that says, “hey, it impacts more than that.” Hot heads and cold hearts have never solved anything. Hot heads and cold hearts have never solved anything – what a bad combination that is. So if you ever feel like you’re getting heated, you are actually responsible for walking away until you calm down. I don’t care what the person did, I don’t care what the person said, I don’t care how the situation appears when you get heated, you are responsible for removing yourself if you’re unable to regulate your emotions, until your emotion subsides. And if you ever feel like your heart is so cold and frozen and dead, you are responsible for finding out why and doing something about it, because hot heads and cold hearts nothing gets solved, no one benefits from it, no one.


  1. The next one that we have is, remember what others can do for you when you actually ask for help. Not when your mom and dad ask for help for you, not when your spouse asks for help for you, not when your kids ask for help for you. When you ask for help for you good things happen. But why do people not ask for help? One, because they don’t want the change that you want for them. They’re content, cool with it so you can’t have someone change for you. Two, because we’re human beings and we got these things called pride and ego and we don’t want to look bad, and we don’t want to look weak. When are you going to get off that? When are human beings going to get off the fact that if I ask for help it does not equate to, or equal to, that I am a weak person? When are people going to realize that it’s not shameful or it’s not bad to say I’m struggling, help me? When are we going to stop living by our pride and our ego? I don’t know, man. People have been doing it for thousands of years so I don’t anticipate for it to stop, but maybe we can do a little better. Problems become smaller when you face them with help and support. Ain’t that the truth, ain’t that the truth? 


  1. So number three is, refuse to give up. The moment you say “I give up” someone else is seeing the situation and saying, “my, what a great opportunity!” One man’s problem is another man’s dream. I mean, this happens at work all the time, right? I know we can have a staff member leave disgruntled saying “I don’t like the way that this place is going, I don’t think this place has run well.” I mean, they don’t say this anywhere that I’m running of course, but “I don’t like this, the way this place is run,” “well I don’t like the operations but organized people aren’t treated well.” “This place is horrible, I don’t want to work here,” and they get up and go. If the place was a nightmare, it was trash and then the next person that comes in says, “oh my God, I’m so grateful for this opportunity, I’m so grateful to be a part of this team, what a wonderful opportunity this is, I couldn’t sleep last night I was so happy,” perspective. We have guys and girls sometimes coming to sober living and say, “I don’t want to be here. What do you mean, you take my car away from me? What do you mean you take my phone away from me in my first 30 days? Come on now, I don’t like the rules. I don’t like the structure. We have a curfew? I can’t have overnights? What? Screw this! I’m out of here,” and they leave. And my hope is that they’re okay, nothing bad happens to them. But then someone else comes in the room and says, “I’m just grateful to have a roof over my head today. I’m just grateful to be a part of a community. I’m just grateful that I have some support and accountability today, because I really need it. I’m having a hard time staying sober on my own.” One man’s trash, another man’s treasure. One man’s problem is another man’s dream. And by the way, when I worked with one of the people that said Hi here (obviously I’m not gonna say who), but I asked them a question point blank. “If the life you have now, if I told you like 20 years ago that you’re going to have a life you have now, what would you say?” He’d say, “Man, it’d be a dream. That means my dreams freaking came true.” But then you look at the life right now and people just look at the problems they have, it’s like, “Dude, your problems right now were your dream at one point in your life.” For a lot of people the challenges they have today at one point in their life was their dream. You can get that, but then we lose perspective because we stopped dreaming.


  1. The next one is, Refocus on the task. Here’s a very powerful quote. It says, “Concentration is the secret of strength in politics, war and trade.” In short, in all management of human affairs. So concentration is the secret of the management of all human affairs. I mean, no problem can sustain the assault of sustained thinking. Say that again, so when you’re experiencing problems I want you to know this. That no problem, not one problem on the face of this planet can sustain the assault of focused thinking. When you truly focus on something, when you give your entirety, all your mental faculties to it, when you ask for help, when you break it down like some people in the talk are saying, when you create little steps with accountability, and how to get to the end result, which is finding a solution for that problem, there is no problem. I can handle that but it’s a matter of, are you willing to unleash that sustained assault of focused thinking? Some people can and some people can’t. Some people get distracted by shiny objects and TV shows and the couches and unhealthy coping skills. And some people just say “I’m gonna focus, tunnel vision, take me a couple hours and I’ll figure it out.” And when I do this talk with people that identify with having attention deficit problems or they say, “I just can’t focus on anything,” I’ll tell you this. Even people that have diagnosed ADHD which impacts your attention deficit, ability to focus, ability to concentrate, ability to retain, at some point in their life by the way, because they get identified at a young age like grade school, they’re probably going through something in their home, that they had a hard time focusing to, they had a hard time paying attention to, because it was just dysfunction. So they just learned how to check out, stop paying attention to the environment. So when they’re in class they can’t focus on the teacher, so the part that the brain development was happening really impacted it. That’s why amphetamines help with that focus. But even those individuals, you put them in front of something they love, something they’re passionate about, they can focus for four hours straight. It’s not a focus problem. Life’s a motivation problem. I always say, nobody in life is lazy, they just haven’t found the motivation to do, to act, to grind, to hustle, to achieve their goals. It’s all a motivation thing. So if you want to solve your problems in your life it’s not that you can’t focus on them. You need to find the motivation to why you want to solve that problem – the creativity, the energy, the enthusiasm, the vitality, and the motivation on your why to solve the problem. If you don’t have that then you’re not going to solve the problem. It’s just going to keep hitting you like another wave and you’re going to be in the ocean, just kind of trying to get your breath, another one comes, another one comes, another one comes, until they find out why do I want to get out of this damn ocean. Why do I want to get to the shore? Once you got your why, the how takes care of itself. 


  1. The next one, rethink your strategy. So if you’ve been doing something and it’s not working, my friends, I’m going to give you a newsflash, change your strategy. How often do you have to learn the message that if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re going to keep getting what you’re getting. So if you don’t like what you’re getting then change what you’re doing. Simple. Sometimes we gotta rethink and change our strategy in life. There’s nothing wrong with halftime adjustments. What do you think sports teams do? They go and play a game the first half, either their strategy was good or they underestimated the opponent, or they do everything right and they still need to make some changes because the opponent did some things that they weren’t expecting. They come out and they make halftime adjustments. In life it’s okay to make half-time adjustments. Look at the problems in your life, look at the areas that you’re going through, look at the challenges, the struggles, the obstacles, and if you need to make some tweaks and adjustments, and you need to make some changes with the level of your thinking and your actions, and change them. Stop living the same way expecting different results. It’s the definition of insanity.


  1. And the very last one it says, just do the work. So the problem doesn’t go away on its own. The X factor is you, your perspective towards what’s happening and your motivation and willingness to resolve it. If you got the wrong perspective and you’re not motivated to solve the problem next year let me know how the problem is because it’s still going to be there five years from now. Let me know what the problem’s looking like these days 10 years from now. Let me know how it’s been to have a decade with the same problem. And if you’re saying, “Dude, whoa, calm down, what do you mean next year, five years, ten years from now? I’m gonna have the same problem?” Well, some of you can go back a year ago, five years ago, 10 years ago and identify the same problems in your life. So don’t tell me I’m wrong when I’m just saying facts. So what you want to do is, you got to look at the problems in your life and say the following. How long have I experienced this problem? How am I experiencing this today? And how much longer do I want to experience this problem? You got the answers. I taught you the solutions. I hope you embrace them. I hope you change your perspective towards the word Problem and I hope we all heal, recover and transform together. Because that’s what I’m all about. Love and appreciate all of you! Have a wonderful Saturday! See you next week! Bye, everyone!

Call Buckeye Recovery Today!

Are you in recovery but not making progress? Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery and improved mental health. Our dedicated team of professionals is here to guide and support you every step of the way.

Today is going to be the best day of your life.

Kelsey Gearhart

Director of Business Development

Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.

Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.

Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.