Pillar number 3 in the 12 Pillars of Success is the gift of relationships. None of us are who we are today without others. Our parents, teachers, counselors, and everyone who motivates us to live a better life is an integral part of our success. The gift of relationships is something that really helps us succeed in life. Some of these relationships could be old, some of them could be new, and some of them are those you haven’t even tapped into because you haven’t even met these people yet.
Relationships need time, the proper environment, and many other things for them to be able to flourish. Many of our program participants come in wanting to feel good right off the bat. They are going to counseling and therapy, they stopped drugs and they want to feel good right away. However, all that they’ve really done so far is plant seeds inside their garden. We cannot put an apple seed in the dirt and 30 days later, expect to bite into an apple. It doesn’t happen. But if we put the apple seed in the soil in a place where abundant light and nutrients can get to it, where it gets plenty of water and air, maybe then you eventually get an apple and bite into it.
Recovery is the same way – you’re planting the seeds of your recovery. It’s going to take a while for what you’re planting today to blossom. And you, as the gardener, are responsible for doing what needs to be done to ensure this plant can thrive. A human being in early stages of recovery is no different than a new plant. Why would we be any different than an apple tree? Why do the fruits that we bear have to come in an instant?
People want to do a few things and feel better. When you take a step toward a better future, you will feel a little bit better but then you go back to baseline again. It will take time and work, both for the one who is using substances and their family members.
Sometimes the family members may even lose themselves in this process. They must learn to plant seeds of their own self. You may be planting seeds for your relationships with your loved ones. If your relationship was rooted in mistrust, anger and sadness, now that the possibility of transformation and the gift of hope has been given to you, be assured that if you water your plant, it will thrive, even if it is going to take some time.
Don’t sit back saying I can’t wait to see what happens with my loved one, without planting your own seeds. Because if something goes off the rails with your loved one then you’re stuck there feeling pretty bad again. The whole tape starts repeating itself. Instead, plant your own seeds so you can flourish despite the circumstances.
Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.
Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.
Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.