COVID-19 Update: We are currently accepting new clients with increased safety measures. LEARN MORE ›

Why Humility and Honesty are Key to Change

You know you got to make changes in your life and despite the knowledge and even the desire to do so, people fall short. You don’t need to take my word for it. Look at the last x amount of times you tried to make certain changes in your life and if you were unable to succeed. So today my goal is to be able to teach you the elements and the components needed to make lasting change. I believe if you’re missing any of these you’re going to fall short and I believe if you have all of these you will succeed. So now it comes down to – do you want to buy this person’s wisdom, knowledge, information or not?

You need Humility to make Successful Changes

So now, why is humility such an important component of the change process? Why? I’m going to break it down for you. So humility – this is the way I like to explain humility. Even though I said earlier that I’m not really too humble or anything like that, when it comes to making changes and knowing my spot and knowing my place I exhibit humility. I really, really do, because I know it’s a component of making successful changes. I did this talk earlier today with our program participants just about an hour ago and I learned the lesson of humility when it comes to recovery 15 years and some odd months ago. 

This happened with my own mom who’s watching this right now. I was in a program and the program had some type of curfews and all that kind of stuff like that, and I did my best to honor them. Eventually, came to the point after about 60 days of sobriety that I was able to go out with some of my old friends and stay out a little bit later. Probably wasn’t the best idea but you know I’ve earned it and demonstrated it, they trusted me enough to give me this reward, let’s say. I remember being out and you know my mom calls me up around almost 12 o’clock. I had to be home around 12. She called me around 12 o’clock, “Hey, just making sure everything’s okay? You’re sober,” and all that kind of stuff. I was really cold or short with her and I was like, “yeah, I’m fine. This is ridiculous,” and hung up the phone. The next day I remember I went to the group and it was a Monday. So that happened Saturday night and then two days later I went to the Monday night group from six to ten with the counselor that taught me everything, Mr Siamak Afshar, rest in peace, my friend. He passed away about three months ago but his wisdom and knowledge lives on in this moment. So I was sitting there in his group and I was just talking about, “yeah man, this is ridiculous. I’m working a program, I’m doing the deal, I’m pissing in these cups, I’m clean, I’ve never broken one rule, and can you believe my mom calls me up almost 12 o’clock to see if I’m gonna be okay, if I’m home, if I’m not drinking. Like what else does she want me to do?” I was genuinely frustrated with the situation because I was trying so hard in my recovery. I genuinely was trying so hard in my recovery and my ego was just hurt.

You Created the Mistrust

Mike looked at me like this with this little look that he had, and all of a sudden he just said, “Who the f do you think you are?” And I was like “Whoa bro, chill out! What do you mean who the f do I think I am? Did you not hear what I told you happened? I said that I was even gonna be home on time and just my mom’s freaking out and I wasn’t even drunk.” He’s like, “Who do you think created that fear in that woman? Who do you think created that anxiety in that person? How many nights did your mom stay up at night waiting for you all these years to come home? How many times did she wait to hear you throw up in the bathroom just to know you’re home safe? How many times did you take from her financially or emotionally and now you have almost 60 days sober and you’re offended when she’s worried or asks you a question?” He said, “Who the f do you think you are? You’re like a sculpture – you created this masterpiece – you sculpted away at your mom for years and years and years and years and years. You sculpted away and you created this statue and now you look at the statue and say I don’t like the way it looks? Take some responsibility and have some humility.” And I’m telling you this man, not less than 15 years ago stuck with me to see I shared it right now with you 15 years later as if it just happened 15 seconds ago. That’s how fresh it is in my mind. So it’s important for us to not forget where we come from. It’s important for us to not forget who we are and most importantly it’s important for us to not forget about the people that didn’t give up on us when we give up on ourselves. This is some really important stuff. 

And also, you know what one component of humility is? Raise your hand and say, “I need help.” Raise your hand and say, “I don’t know what the heck I’m doing.” Raise your hand and say, “Please help, please support me in my journey.” That’s an act of humility.

Honesty in Recovery

This one’s kind of tough because I sometimes share this with family members or program participants or people experiencing addictions, mental illness, grief and loss, trauma. And what happens with them is sometimes when you tell them honestly how far they are from making changes in their life and how far they are from their goals and destinations, they look at you as if you’re crazy. I’ve been on record and this isn’t like a personal opinion. This is research and science that shows that habitual hardcore use of methamphetamines or stimulants like cocaine really impacts the dopamine receptors of the brain, the neurotransmitters of the brain. One of them’s dopamine – it really impacts it to the point that the person without the use of substances has a hard time experiencing any type of joy, happiness, or engagement with life. And then they get clean and sober, and they experience this drought of depression, and they’re like alright, well, I’m gonna get better, I’m going to get better, I’m going to get better. Research and science shows that it takes about 12 to 18 months for a brain that’s been using methamphetamines for a long period of time, to start getting back the handle of the neurotransmitters that can produce healthy amounts of dopamine again. I say that to somebody and they’re like, “I’ve been sober for 90 days. I don’t feel better. This stuff doesn’t work.” I’m like, “Dude, your brain needs to heal,” and they don’t get it but you know where you might not believe a human being. I have this analogy I’ve been using for a long time and I love this analogy. Let’s say I give you an address and you don’t know where this address is. It’s got a zip code but not a city or state, so you really don’t know where it is. And I tell you this is where I want you to go, and you say okay you grab your cell phone you put the address in your cell phone and it says you’re 2,000 miles away. So it gives you an honest objective truth. You are 2,000 miles away. Can you accept that? Can you accept that? Some people do and some people don’t, which takes us to our next point right here. It ties with honesty.

Call Buckeye Recovery Today!

Are you in recovery but not making progress? Recovery is not only possible but attainable, and it all begins with reaching out for assistance. By addressing both addiction and mental health issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of despair and embark on a path to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Contact Buckeye Recovery Network today and initiate your journey to recovery and improved mental health. Our dedicated team of professionals is here to guide and support you every step of the way.

Today is going to be the best day of your life.

Kelsey Gearhart

Director of Business Development

Kelsey carries multiple years of experience working in the substance abuse and mental health treatment field. Her passion for this field comes from her personally knowing recovery from addiction.

Prior to Buckeye she held titles of Recovery Coach, Operations Director, and Admissions Director. Kelsey was brought on at Buckeye Recovery as the Director of Business Development. She has a passion for ensuring every individual gets the help that they need, and does so by developing relationships with other providers.

Kelsey also oversees our women’s sober living environments – The Chadwick House for Women. She is committed to creating a safe, nurturing, and conducive environment for all women that walk through the doors of Chadwick.